The Simpsons

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The simpsons

As my son would say, I'm one sad ape-like dude.

Homer: I have to convince my supervisor to give me a leave of absence.
Supervisor: Sure! How long would you like, four years? Five years!

Man: Get on the bus, Dancin' Homer!
Homer: Will you shut up, I'm trying to think of a name!

Homer: D'oh, Marge, sitting next to the boss! The best night of the year and it's ruined!
Marge: All this means is you can't wave your fanny around in public.
Homer: Oh, yeah, rub it in!

Employee: You're an inspiration to all of us in waste management, sir.
Mr. Burns: Well, take your mind off contaminants for one night and have a hot dog!

Ah, sitting with the employees. I guess this proves I'm their friend. You did get me something on an aisle, Smithers. I don't want to be surrounded by them.

</i> Mr. Burns

There's a swingin' town I know called Capital City.
People stop and scream hello in Capital City.
It's the kind of place that makes a bum feel like a king.
And it makes a king feel like some nutty cuckoo, super king.
It's against the law to frown in Capital City.
You'll caper like a stupid clown when you chance to see 4th street and "D." Yeah!
Once you get a whiff of it you'll never want to roam,
From Capital City my home, sweet swingin' home.

Tony Bennett

Some may say that I have been given a bad break in life; little education, bald as a cue ball, ten years on the same job for the same salary. But today, as I leave for Capital City, I consider myself the luckiest mascot on the face of the earth.

Homer

A Simpson on a t-shirt. I never thought I'd see the day.

Marge

(The Simpson family make their way to their seats at Springfield Stadium.)
Lisa: I can't think of a better place to spend a balmy summer's night than the old ball yard. There's just the green grass of the outfield, the crushed brick of the infield, and the white chalk lines that divide the man from the little boy.
Homer: (Chuckles) Lisa, honey. You're forgetting the beer. It comes in 72-ounce tubs here.
Marge: I hope you'll space out the tubs this year, Homer.
Homer: What are you getting at?
Marge: Well, last year you got a little rambunctious and mooned the poor umpire.
Homer: Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right--no, the duty--to make a complete ass of myself.
Marge: Mmmph.

(Bart and Milhouse say goodbye, as Bart is headed off to Capital City.)
Milhouse: I don't know, Bart. I mean, I'm gonna miss you and all, but--
Bart: Come on, Milhouse. This way we'll be friends forever.
Milhouse: Wellokay.
(Bart and Milhouse spit on each other's hands and shake.)
Bart and Milhouse: (In unison) Eeeew!
Bart: I'm gonna miss you, spit brother.
Milhouse: I'm gonna miss you, spit brother.

This was the biggest decision the Simpsons ever faced. I should have listened to the kids instead of my big, dumb wife. Oh, I shouldn't have called her that. Bite my tongue, bite my tongue--Oww!

</i> Homer
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 19 in total

The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 5 Quotes

Homer: I have to convince my supervisor to give me a leave of absence.
Supervisor: Sure! How long would you like, four years? Five years!

As my son would say, I'm one sad ape-like dude.

Homer
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