The Simpsons

The Simpsons "Dog of Death" Quotes

Mr. Burns: What makes a man endanger his job, and, yes, even his life, by asking me for money?
 • Rating: Unrated

Wiggum: (Answers phone) Uh, no you've got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marge: Even if he has passed on, there's no reason to cry. Remember Doggie Heaven?
Homer: Oh, Marge, there is no such place!
Marge: (Clears throat, indicating Bart and Lisa)
Homer: Or, to put it another way, there is.
 • Rating: Unrated

Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Nonsense, dogs are idiots. Think about it Smithers, if I came into your room and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?
Smithers: Umm...if you did it, sir?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marge: Homie, did you close the gate?
Homer: Yes. (Gate thumps loudly) Oh, you mean tonight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: The odds of winning are 380,000,000 to 1.
Homer: Correction: 380,000,000 to 50!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: I'm not giving up. I don't care if I have to knock on every door in this two-bit town. I'm going to find my dog!
Homer: And I'll be right here watching TV!
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: You know, I heard the jackpot is up to one hundred and thirty million dollars.
Homer: PFF!...ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS!!!!
Barney: Did you say one hundred and thirty million dollars?
Homer: Yeah!
Barney: Wow!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Bart, I need some lucky numbers, fast, how old are you? Uh huh, and what's your birthday?...No kidding, and what's Lisa's birthday? What, you don't know your sister's birthday, what kind of brother are you?
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: If you were seventeen, we'd be rich, but nooo...you had to be ten!
 • Rating: Unrated

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