The Simpsons

The Simpsons "Flaming Moe's" Quotes

Bart: My father invented that drink, and if you'll allow me to demonstrate...
Edna: Bart, are those liquor bottles?
Bart: Um...yes
Edna: Take them to the teacher's lounge. You can have what's left after school.
 • Rating: Unrated

Professor Frink: According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is...Love?! Who's been screwing with this thing?
 • Rating: Unrated

Moe: Jeepers, Mary, and Joseph! Sleep with a chick once and it costs me half a million bananas!
 • Rating: Unrated

Moe: Flaming Moe's.
Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass. First name Hugh.
Moe: Uh, hold on, I'll check. (Calling) Hugh Jass! Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!
Hugh: Uh, I'm Hugh Jass.
Moe: Telephone. (Hands over the receiver)
Hugh: Hello, this is Hugh Jass.
Bart: (Surprised) Uh, hi.
Hugh: Who's this?
Bart: Bart Simpson.
Hugh: Well, what can I do for you, Bart?
Bart: Uh, look, I'll level with you, Mister. This is a crank call that sort of backfired, and I'd like to bail out right now.
Hugh: All right. Better luck next time. (hangs up) What a nice young man.
 • Rating: Unrated

Steven Tyler: Hello St. Loooooooouiiiiiis!
Joe Perry: Actually Steven, it's Springfield.
Steven Tyler: Right, right.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: What is it boy? Is anything the matter my son? Talk to me young man..... say your name? Why should I do that my lad?
Bart: Because I'm jinxed dammit! (Homer punches him) Ow! What was that for?
Homer: You spoke while you were jinxed so I got to punch you in the arm!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Could I get a beer?
Moe: Oh yeah, sure.... oh sorry, I forgot we're out of beer.
Homer: Aaaaaah!
Moe: Oh I know, I got behind on my beer payment, the distributor cut me off, and I spent my last ten grand on the love tester. (Homer sucks the taps). It's too late Homer, Barney sucked it dry.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: It passed the first test...I didn't go blind.
 • Rating: Unrated

Collette: Barkeep, I couldn't help noticing your sign.
Moe: What, the one that says 'Bartenders do it till you barf'?
 • Rating: Unrated

Moe: Well It's hard to say, He may have come up with the recipe, but I came up with the idea of charging $6.95 for it.
 • Rating: Unrated

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