Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX

Mr. Burns: Hello, Simpson. My lawyers and I were in the neighborhood and thought we'd stop by.
Marge: Would you like to come in for tea and marshmallow squares?
(The lawyers confer with each other)
Lawyer: Yes, he would.

Aw, you guys are pathetic. No wonder Smithers made me head bee-guy.

Marge: An A+, how did you do it?
Homer: Oh, lets just say I had help from a little magic box!
Marge: You changed your grade with a computer?
Homer: D'oh!

Mrs. Simpson, we all have nose bleeds.


Bart: Gentlemen, I propose we kidnap Sir-Oinks-A-Lot..
Homer: And then we roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge!

Dean: Hello..
Homer: Hello, Dean! You're a stupid head!
Dean: Homer is that you?

Homer: My first day of college.. I wish my father was alive to see this!
Grampa: Hey!
Homer: How long have you been back there?
Grampa: Three days...

Woohoo! I'm a college man! I won't need my high school diploma any more! (sets diploma on fire) I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T.

Man: Homer, sign this application, and you're a shoe-in.
Homer: Hahaha, that dog has somebody's ham. Now this I gotta see!

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