The Simpsons

The Simpsons "Homer Goes to College" Quotes (Page 3)

Homer: My first day of college.. I wish my father was alive to see this!
Grampa: Hey!
Homer: How long have you been back there?
Grampa: Three days...
 • Rating: 3.3 / 5.0

Dean: Hello..
Homer: Hello, Dean! You're a stupid head!
Dean: Homer is that you?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Gentlemen, I propose we kidnap Sir-Oinks-A-Lot..
Homer: And then we roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge!
 • Rating: Unrated

Doug: Mrs. Simpson, we all have nose bleeds.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marge: An A+, how did you do it?
Homer: Oh, lets just say I had help from a little magic box!
Marge: You changed your grade with a computer?
Homer: D'oh!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Aw, you guys are pathetic. No wonder Smithers made me head bee-guy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Burns: Hello, Simpson. My lawyers and I were in the neighborhood and thought we'd stop by.
Marge: Would you like to come in for tea and marshmallow squares?
(The lawyers confer with each other)
Lawyer: Yes, he would.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Burns: Oh, and one more thing: you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Smithers Actually sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
Mr. Burns: And the road maps, and ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent! It's all falling into place...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: (writing) It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: (reading his college rejection letters) D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Woohoo! A flyer for a hardware store! D'oh!
Bart: Well, Pop, what are you going to do?
Homer: Something I should have done a long time ago.
(long pause)
Marge: You don't know, do you?
Homer: No, ma'am.
 • Rating: Unrated

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