The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 5 Episode 3: "Homer Goes to College" Quotes
Man: Umm, excuse me. What are you doing?
Mr. Burns: I'm giving you the beating of your life!
Oh, I'm going to lose my job just because I'm dangerously unqualified.
Wait a minute, I'll put on my snow pants.
Nerd
Boy, I can't wait to take some of the starch out of that stuffed shirt!
Finally, the great taste of Worcester sauce in a soft drink. Ahh, steaky.
Commercial
Lisa: List your three favorite books and how they have influenced your life.
Homer: Is "TV Guide" a book?
Lisa: No.
Homer: "Son of Sniglet?"
Lisa: No.
Homer: Katherine Hepburn's "Me?"
Lisa: No!
Homer: Oh, I suck!
Dad, start digging some nerd holes!
Bart
Oh, you'll pay! Don't think you won't pay!
Richard Nixon
Smithers, dismember the corpse and send his widow a corsage.
Mr. Burns
College?! Barber or clown?
Bart
Homer: Look, I'm supposed to get a physics tutor.
Nerd 1: Well, you've come to the right place then. If there's one thing we know, it is science.
Nerd 2: And math.
Nerd 3: And the words to every Monty Python routine.
Nerds: (in unison) We are the Knights Who Say Ni! Ni!
(laughter)
Homer: Heh heh Ni.
That sounds like a pig fainting!
Dean