The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13: "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment" Quotes
(about Hell) Wouldn't you eventually get used to it, like in a hot tub?Bart
- Permalink: <i>(about Hell)</i> Wouldn't you eventually get used to it, like...
(While in Sunday School; Bart raised his hand)
Mrs. Albright: Yes, Bart?
Bart: Are there pirates in Hell?
Mrs. Albright: Yes, thousands of them.
Bart: (rubs hands) Hoo hoo, baby!
- Permalink: <i>(While in Sunday School; Bart raised his hand)</i> Yes, Bar...
(In bed, Homer and Marge argue about the illegal cable.)
Marge: But Homer, I'm afraid that cable has become an evil presence in our home.
Homer: (Sternly) Marge, I never put my foot down about anything.
Homer: But I am severely tempted to do it over this. (Raises foot)
Marge: Oh, Homer.
Homer: Marge, I'm sorry. I think it's coming down.
Marge: No, Homer! Not--
Homer: (Sticks foot over floor) It's coming down. My foot, it's--
Homer: That's it, Marge. The cable stays. The foot has spoken. (Slams foot down)
- Permalink: (<i>In bed, Homer and Marge argue about the illegal cable</i>.) ...
Oh, cool! This is where "Jaws" eats the boat! Man, this is where "Die Hard" jumps through the window. (Laughs) Whoa! This is where "Wall Street" gets arrested! (Chuckles)Bart
- Permalink: (<i>Bart and the family watch TV</i>.) Oh, cool! This is where...
(Moses appears before the Israelites with the Ten Commandments.)
Moses: The Lord has handed down to us Ten Commandments by which to live. I will now read them in no particular order. "Thou shalt not make any graven images."
Hezron, Carver of Graven Images: (Throws down chisel) Oh, my God!
Moses: "Thou shalt not commit adultery."
Zohar the Adulterer: Ah, well. Looks like the party's over.
Homer the Thief: (Chuckles) Hey, Moses, keep 'em comin'.
Moses: "Thou shalt not steal."
Homer the Thief: D'oh!
- Permalink: (<i>Moses appears before the Israelites with the Ten Commandment...
(Marge inquires about Sunday school.)
Marge: So, what did you children learn about today?
Bart: Well, that's what we learned about. I sure as hell can't tell you we learned about hell unless I say "hell," can I?
Homer: Eh, The lad has a point.
Bart: Hell, yes!
Bart: (Singing) Hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell.
Marge: Bart, you're no longer in Sunday school. Don't swear!
- Permalink: (<i>Marge inquires about Sunday school</i>.) So, what did you ...
Oh, Simpson, good news. I brought some mun-chies. Eh, Smithers, the Cheetos.Mr. Burns
- Permalink: (<i>Mr. Burns arrives to watch the big fight</i>.) Oh, Simpson...
(Apu arrives for the big fight.)
Apu: Oh, hello, Mrs. Homer! I've brought an assortment of jerkies.
(Apu hands Marge the jerkies.)
Homer: Ooh, did you swipe those from work?
Apu: Oh, certainly not. What has been implied here?
- Permalink: (<i>Apu arrives for the big fight</i>.) Oh, hello, Mrs. Homer!...
(Mr. Burns and Smithers watch security camera footage of Homer inviting the guys over for the big fight.)
Smithers: Um, he's Homer Simpson, sir. One of your drones from Sector 7-G.
Mr. Burns: Excellent. I'm so keen on seeing Watson vs. Tatum II, I'd even go to an employee's house. Oh, I can picture it now. The screen door rusting off it's filthy hinges, mangy dogs staggering about, looking vainly for a place to die.
Smithers: Permission to speak frankly, sir?
Mr. Burns: Permission granted.
Smithers: Well, you are quite wealthy--
Mr. Burns: Thank you, Smithers. Your candor is most refreshing.
Smithers: No, no, I mean, why don't you pay for the fight yourself?
Mr. Burns: Ah, Smithers, the big title fight is one of those rare occasions that I savor the sights, the sounds and (sniffs) ah, yes, the smells of men.
Smithers: You haven't lost the common touch, sir.
- Permalink: (<i>Mr. Burns and Smithers watch security camera footage of Home...