The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 4 Episode 15: "I Love Lisa" Quotes
Lisa: Ralph thinks I like him but I only gave him a valentine because I felt sorry for him.
Homer: Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?
(Watching The Krusty Show)
Bart: I'd give anything to go to that show!
Homer: I'd sell my first-born son!
Bart: Hey!
Homer: You'll do as you're told!
If you think I'm cuddly and you want my company, come on wifey let me know!
Ned
Six simple words, I'm not gay, but I'll learn.
Homer
I didn't cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig, but I'll cry now.
Groundskeeper Willie
Good evening, everyone, and welcome to a wonderful evening of theater and picking up after yourselves.
Principal Skinner
Homer: You know, one day honest citizens are going to stand up to you crooked cops.
Chief Wiggum: They are!? Oh no! Ha-have they set a date?
Oh it isn't fair. I'm ten times the Krusty fan you are. I even have the Krusty home pregnancy test!
Bart
The doctor said I wouldnt have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there.
Ralph
Uh... so... do you like..... stuff?
Ralph
Guy: Where do you want these beef hearts?
Lunchlady Doris: On the floor.
Guy: It doesnt look very clean.
Lunchlady Doris: Just do your job, heart boy.
Miss Hoover: You may now exchange Valentines.
Ralph: Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder.
