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Bart: Poor Krusty.
Lisa: A man who envies our family is a man who needs help.

Here you go, Bart. It's a long shot, but that's all I can do without learning ancient Hebrew. (Bart stares at her) Bart! I am not going to learn ancient Hebrew!


Bart: Hello, my name's Dimitri. I'm a first-time caller, long-time listener. My question is, if a son defies his father and chooses a career that makes millions of children happy; shouldn't the father forgive the son?
Rev. Lovejoy: I think so.
Msgr. D: Yes, of course.
Rabbi Krustofsky: No way! Absolutely not! Never, never! Who screens these calls? Who's in charge here? There's nobody in charge? They leave a building without people watching it...

Bart: Krusty, are you all right?
Krusty: Yes, it's just that saying the bracha brings back a lot of painful memories, the old days, my... my father...
Homer: Hey, Krusty, you going to finish that meatloaf or what?

Homer: He's talking funny-talk!
Lisa: No Dad, that's Hebrew! Krusty must be Jewish.
Homer: A Jewish entertainer? Get out of here!

Bart: Krusty, you don't have to be `on' tonight.
Homer: What are you talking about! Of course he does!
Lisa: No Dad, Krusty is our guest. Your pratfalls and Punchinello antics aren't necessary here.

Krusty: (Singing) Oh Mein Papa, to me he was so wonderful, Oh Mein Papa, to me he was so good, no one could be, so gentle and so loveable, Oh Mein Papa he always understood!
Moe: I've got something in my eye.
Barney: Here, take my hanky.
Moe: Euueeh!

Boys and girls, I'd like to be serious for a moment if I may. Spotlight, please. I just wanted spotlight moves away from Krusty I just wan (spotlight moves away again) Come on guys, I'm not doing the spotlight bit.


A rabbi would never exaggerate. A rabbi composes. He creates thoughts. He tells stories that may never have happened. But he does not exaggerate.

Rabbi Krustofsky
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