The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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Hello. Hello? Anybody there? What's this, I hear the phone ring, and suddenly there's nothing. I'm listening and there's no talking. Hello, mister, who are you? Why would they call if they don't want to talk to you?

Rabbi

Bart: Goodnight Krusty, sorry about your dad!
Krusty: Don't worry about me. I'm a survivor. Hey did I leave my keys inside?
Family: NOO!
Krusty: Oh yeah, here they are.

Krusty: Milhouse, know any knock-knock jokes?
Milhouse: (cries) I wanna go home!

Milhouse: Oh, Hi Bart. I was just in the neighborhood and wha? Krusty the Clown! What a surprise!
Bart: Milhouse. You can come in, and, drop the charade.

Krusty: (knocks on door and laughs)
Homer: You think it's him?

(reading) Deeee...deee.. dear. Kruuuust. Y?

Krusty

Krusty: Ooh! Sex Chat! (dials)
Voice: You've reached the Party Line! In a moment, you'll be connected to a hot party, with some of the world's most beautiful women! Now, let's join the party!
Krusty: Hello?
Man 1: Hello?
Man 2: Hello?
Apu: Are there any women here?
Krusty: Hello!?
Apu: Are you a beautiful woman?
Krusty: Do I sound like a beautiful woman?
Apu: This is not as hot a party as I anticipated.

Bart: Okay Milhouse, how many Krusty autographs should I put you down for?
Milhouse: Uh, a hundred.
Bart: Consider it done. (singing) You're walking along the street or you're at a party! Or else you're alone and then you suddenly dig dig dig. This could be the start of something big.

(singing) We've had lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of fun, but now the time has come... to go. If this old clown was found dead in his bed tomorrow, I'd be in heaven, still doing this show.

Krusty

Bart: We came to talk to you about your son.
Rabbi Krustofski: I have no son! (Slams door)
Bart: Oh, great, we came all this way and it's the wrong guy.
Rabbi Krustofski: (Re-opens door) I didn't mean that literally! (Re-slams door)

Homer: Son, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.
Bart: That's okay, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.
Homer: Why you little!

Displaying quotes 13 - 23 of 23 in total

The Simpsons Season 3 Episode 6 Quotes

Bart: Poor Krusty.
Lisa: A man who envies our family is a man who needs help.

A rabbi would never exaggerate. A rabbi composes. He creates thoughts. He tells stories that may never have happened. But he does not exaggerate.

Rabbi Krustofsky