The Simpsons Season 4 Episode 4: "Lisa the Beauty Queen" Quotes
(Homer tires out the "Guess Your Age and Weight" booth at the school carnival.)
Booth Operator: I'd say 53 and 420 pounds.
Homer: Ha ha, you lose! 36 and 239!
Lisa: Do you remember why you entered me in that pageant?
Homer: I dunno. Was I drunk?
Lisa: Possibly. But the point is you wanted me to feel better about myself, and I do.
Homer: Will you remember this the next time I wreck your life?
Lisa: It's a deal!
Girl: (about Amber Dempsey) Eyelash implants.
Lisa: I thought those were illegal.
Girl: Not in Paraguay.
Hi, I'm Amber Dempsey, and when I grow up, I want to be a sweetie pie!Amber
Lisa Simpson is no longer Little Miss Springfield. She was stripped of her crown in a ceremony earlier today (footage of a goat being bottle fed plays) Well, that's obviously the wrong footage. Uh, but it does seem the father of the deposed beauty queen Homer Simpson filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under 'do not write under this space' he wrote 'okay'.Kent
Mayor Quimby: Gentlemen, we need to get Lisa Simpson out and Amber Dempsey back in. But this glorified crossing god of a police chief wont get off his big fat can.
Chief Wiggum: Is it okay if I open these potato chips?
L the losers in her wake,
I the income she will make,
T is for her tooth-filled mouth,
T is for her tooth-filled mouth...
Homer: Is that Lisa? Oooo, I gotta call heaven. There's an angel missing!
Bart: And whose your little school friend? Wait a minute... That's Mom!
Marge: I know two fellas who will get a special dinner tonight!
(Bart and Homer high five)
Bart: Dad, do you know anything else about women?
Homer: Nope, that's it.
Homer: Hey, nobody's prettier than my little girl!
Marge: Mmmmm, you're looking at her through a father's eyes.
Homer: Well if I could gouge out somebody else's eyes and shove them into my my sockets I would; but to me, she's beautiful!
Marge: That is so sweet!
Marge: Lisa, I know a song that will cheer you up. `There once was an ugly duckling...''
Lisa: So you think I'm ugly?!
Marge: Noooo. No, I meant you were one of the good-looking ducks... that makes fun of the ugly one. Mmmm.
Larson: Your daughter could be crowned Little Miss Springfield by our host, the Maitre d' of Glee, Krusty the Clown.
Krusty: I heartily endorse this event or product.
Homer: Moe, have you ever felt unattractive?
Moe: Mmmm, no.
Homer: How about you, Barney?
Barney: Not for a second! (*belch*)