Mr. Burns: Are you acquainted with our state's stringent usury laws?
Homer: (Unsure) U...sury?
Mr. Burns: Silly me! I must have just made up a word that doesn't exist.

• Permalink: Are you acquainted with our state's stringent usury laws? U.....
• Added: February 18, 2010

Jerry: Clarinet?
Homer: No.
Jerry: Oboe?
Homer: No.
Jerry: Saxophone?
Homer: No. Wait a minute, what was that last one again?
Jerry: Saxophone.
Homer: (Recalling) Lisa, stop playing that stupid...saxophone! Yes, that's it!
Jerry: Alto or tenor?
Homer: D'oh!

• Permalink: Clarinet? No. Oboe? No. Saxophone? No. Wait a minute, ...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Homer: Hurry, Moe, hurry! I've only got five minutes till the music store closes!
Moe: Well, why don't you go there first?
Homer: Hey, do I tell you how to do your job?!

• Permalink: Hurry, Moe, hurry! I've only got five minutes till the music sto...
• Added: February 18, 2010

I work from midnight to eight, come home, sleep for five minutes, eat breakfast, sleep six more minutes, shower, then I have ten minutes to bask in Lisa's love, then I'm off to the power plant, fresh as a daisy.

Homer

• Permalink: I work from midnight to eight, come home, sleep for five minutes...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Apu: Now, these hot dogs have been here for three years. They are strictly ornamental. There is only one bozo who comes in and buys them.
Homer: But I eat...oh.

• Permalink: Now, these hot dogs have been here for three years. They are str...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Marge: We're just going to have to cut down on luxuries.
Homer: Well, you know, we're always buying Maggie vaccinations for diseases she doesn't even have!

• Permalink: We're just going to have to cut down on luxuries. Well, you kn...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Homer: I'll buy her that pony she's always bugging me for.
Marge: We can't afford to buy a pony.
Homer: Marge, with today's gasoline prices, we can't afford not to buy a pony.

• Permalink: I'll buy her that pony she's always bugging me for. We can't a...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Maybe I should just cut my losses, give up on Lisa, and make a fresh start with Maggie.

Homer

• Permalink: Maybe I should just cut my losses, give up on Lisa, and make a f...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Lisa: (on the phone) Dad, I broke my last saxophone reed, and I need you to get me a new one.
Homer: Uh, isn't this the kind of thing your mother's better at?
Lisa: I called her, she's not home. I also tried Mr. Flanders, Aunt Patty, Aunt Selma, Dr. Hibbert, Reverend Lovejoy, and that nice man who caught the snake in our basement.
Homer: Wow, and after them, out of all the people in the world, you chose me.

• Permalink: Dad, I broke my last saxophone reed, and I need you to get me a ...
• Added: February 18, 2010

First you didn't want me to get the pony, now you want me to take it back, make up your mind!

Homer

• Permalink: First you didn't want me to get the pony, now you want me to tak...
• Added: February 18, 2010

(While hearing Lisa's bad saxophone playing) Sounds like the gopher I caught in me lawnmower.

Groundskeeper Willie

• Permalink: Sounds like the gopher I caught in me lawnmower.
• Added: February 18, 2010

(Homer prepares to take out a loan from Mr. Burns.)
Mr. Burns: Just sign this form and the money will be yours. (Laughs evilly) Sorry, I was just um...erm...thinking of something funny Smithers did today.
Smithers: I didn't do anything funny today.
Mr. Burns: Shut up!

• Permalink: Just sign this form and the money will be yours. Sorry, I was j...
• Added: February 18, 2010