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Mr. Burns: Are you acquainted with our state's stringent usury laws?
Homer: (Unsure) U...sury?
Mr. Burns: Silly me! I must have just made up a word that doesn't exist.

Jerry: Clarinet?
Homer: No.
Jerry: Oboe?
Homer: No.
Jerry: Saxophone?
Homer: No. Wait a minute, what was that last one again?
Jerry: Saxophone.
Homer: (Recalling) Lisa, stop playing that stupid...saxophone! Yes, that's it!
Jerry: Alto or tenor?
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Hurry, Moe, hurry! I've only got five minutes till the music store closes!
Moe: Well, why don't you go there first?
Homer: Hey, do I tell you how to do your job?!

I work from midnight to eight, come home, sleep for five minutes, eat breakfast, sleep six more minutes, shower, then I have ten minutes to bask in Lisa's love, then I'm off to the power plant, fresh as a daisy.

Homer

Apu: Now, these hot dogs have been here for three years. They are strictly ornamental. There is only one bozo who comes in and buys them.
Homer: But I eat...oh.

Marge: We're just going to have to cut down on luxuries.
Homer: Well, you know, we're always buying Maggie vaccinations for diseases she doesn't even have!

Homer: I'll buy her that pony she's always bugging me for.
Marge: We can't afford to buy a pony.
Homer: Marge, with today's gasoline prices, we can't afford not to buy a pony.

Maybe I should just cut my losses, give up on Lisa, and make a fresh start with Maggie.

Homer

Lisa: (on the phone) Dad, I broke my last saxophone reed, and I need you to get me a new one.
Homer: Uh, isn't this the kind of thing your mother's better at?
Lisa: I called her, she's not home. I also tried Mr. Flanders, Aunt Patty, Aunt Selma, Dr. Hibbert, Reverend Lovejoy, and that nice man who caught the snake in our basement.
Homer: Wow, and after them, out of all the people in the world, you chose me.

First you didn't want me to get the pony, now you want me to take it back, make up your mind!

Homer

(While hearing Lisa's bad saxophone playing) Sounds like the gopher I caught in me lawnmower.

Groundskeeper Willie

(Homer prepares to take out a loan from Mr. Burns.)
Mr. Burns: Just sign this form and the money will be yours. (Laughs evilly) Sorry, I was just um...erm...thinking of something funny Smithers did today.
Smithers: I didn't do anything funny today.
Mr. Burns: Shut up!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 20 in total

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The Simpsons Season 3 Episode 8 Quotes

Marge: Homie, how long do you plan to do this?
Homer: I don't know. How long do horses live?
Marge: Thirty years.
Homer: D'oh.

(While hearing Lisa's bad saxophone playing) Sounds like the gopher I caught in me lawnmower.

Groundskeeper Willie
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