Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Another family broken up by Ronaldo, yes!

Ronaldo

Helen Lovejoy: (to Homer) You are so blind, even Jesus couldn't heal you.
Reverend Lovejoy: Helen please, don't drop the J-bomb.

Ned Flanders: Homer, you've met my parents.
Homer: Not naked I haven't.

Homer: Lisa, honey, I bought you something. A DVD!
Lisa: Not interested!
Homer: It's a documentary! By the BBC! In cooperation with Canal+!
Lisa: Ah! Gimme gimme gimme!!

(to Marge about her Internet surfing success) I'm proud of you, Mom! You're like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people knew about before you.

Lisa

(to Lisa) Hey, Lisa! Self-conscious about your shins? My day girls were worried about their boobs

Homer

Why am I payin' $14.95 a month for this?

</i> Moe

Bart: Mom, I'm going to give you life the way I imagined you gave me life--by pressing Alt-F5 repeatedly! (His game character places a zapping gaze into her eyes as she's brought back to life, then he groans and drops to the floor)
Marge: Bart, you brought me back to life (Sees her character now exhibits the lower part of a pig) as best you could.
Nelson: HA-HAAH!!! (His character is a human head with pigeon wings who flies overhead, makes fun of her, then bumps into a wall and drops into a torch, getting incinerated in the process.)

Bart: Jumpin' Johnnycakes! Those dames are cheesed!
Homer: Son, I'll never understand women if I live to be 40.
Bart: Big if!
Homer: You said it! Enjoy me while I last. (Both laugh)
Bart: Want to go slam a few beers?
Homer: Want to watch me?
Bart: You know it! (Both leave for Moe's.)

I was killed--by my own son!

</i> Marge

Homer: I don't need a soccer lecture from a hillbilly!
Cletus: That's hill-william to you, sir!

Could someone bring me another barf cone?

</i> Homer
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 30 in total

The Simpsons Season 18 Episode 17 Quotes

Ha ha ha ha. I have taught you well. (Thinking to himself) Too well.

Ronaldo

(While playing Earthland Realms)
Apu: That Cobra King over there is actually Snake.
Snake: The prison guards think I'm getting my online law degree. Haw haw.

x Close Ad