The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 4 Episode 8: "New Kid on the Block" Quotes
Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of false advertising since my case against "The Never-Ending Story"!
Lionel Hutz
Homer: Zoo Keeper! Zoo Keeper! Those two monkeys are killing each other!
Zoo Keeper: (whispering) There're having sex.
Uh oh, my heart just stopped..... oh, there it goes.
Barney
Moe: Barney, don't steal any beer while I'm gone.
Barney: What kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for? Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray!
Lawyer: Your honor, I'd like to show the court just how much shrimp Mr. Simpson ate. Bring it in boys!
Aide: Eighteen thousand letters, all addressed to Santa Claus.
Lawyer: You want the People of Springfield versus Kris Kringle. That's next door.
Bart: I'll show them who's "just a kid!"
Marge: Bart, bedtime! I laid out your jammy-jams!
Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
Homer
Grampa: Bart, oh you remembered my birthday?
Bart: Huh? Oh, I sure did! Here's a bus schedule.
Grampa: Wow, fits right in my pocket.
Ruth: I actually had some doubts about moving to Springfield, especially
after that TIME cover story, "America's Worst City."
Marge: You could see our house in that photo!
Laura: Are you all right?
Bart's Brain: She's beautiful. Say something clever.
Bart: I fell on my bottom.
Bart's Brain: D'oh!
Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, in your own words, please tell us what happened after you and your husband were ejected from the restaurant.
Marge: We pretty much went straight home.
Hutz: Remember, Mrs. Simpson, you're still under oath.
Marge: We drove around until 3:00 in the morning looking for another open all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant.
Hutz: And when you couldn't find any?
Marge: (crying) We went fishing!
Hutz: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man who's had ALL he could eat?
Fat Juror: That could have been me!
Ivana Tinkel, Ivana Tinkel! Okay, everyone put down your glasses, Ivana Tinkel!
Moe
