The Simpsons

The Simpsons "New Kid on the Block" Quotes

Moe: Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Barney: Maybe your standards are too high! (bar laughs)
Moe: (To Bart) You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lionel Hutz: Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Moe: Ivana Tinkel, Ivana Tinkel! Okay, everyone put down your glasses, Ivana Tinkel!
 • Rating: Unrated

Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, in your own words, please tell us what happened after you and your husband were ejected from the restaurant.
Marge: We pretty much went straight home.
Hutz: Remember, Mrs. Simpson, you're still under oath.
Marge: We drove around until 3:00 in the morning looking for another open all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant.
Hutz: And when you couldn't find any?
Marge: (crying) We went fishing!
Hutz: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man who's had ALL he could eat?
Fat Juror: That could have been me!
 • Rating: Unrated

Laura: Are you all right?
Bart's Brain: She's beautiful. Say something clever.
Bart: I fell on my bottom.
Bart's Brain: D'oh!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ruth: I actually had some doubts about moving to Springfield, especially
after that TIME cover story, "America's Worst City."
Marge: You could see our house in that photo!
 • Rating: Unrated

Grampa: Bart, oh you remembered my birthday?
Bart: Huh? Oh, I sure did! Here's a bus schedule.
Grampa: Wow, fits right in my pocket.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: I'll show them who's "just a kid!"
Marge: Bart, bedtime! I laid out your jammy-jams!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lawyer: Your honor, I'd like to show the court just how much shrimp Mr. Simpson ate. Bring it in boys!
Aide: Eighteen thousand letters, all addressed to Santa Claus.
Lawyer: You want the People of Springfield versus Kris Kringle. That's next door.
 • Rating: Unrated

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