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The-simpsons

Simpson, step away from the orphan, do not give him any more love. I repeat, do not give him any more love.

Chief Wiggum

Apu: Lisa, how do you like sharing a bathroom with two brothers?
Lisa: Two brothers? Bart, who is this kid?
Bart: He's an orphan, he's like Annie except he's a dude and he hates tomorrow.
Charlie: I hate it so much.

Bart: How did you escape the island of misfit boys?
Charlie: Shimmied down a drain pipe.
Bart: You like to shimmy? I like to shimmy. Where do you see yourself in twenty years?
Charlie: One-armed drummer in a prison rock band.
Bart: Nice. Favorite Beatle?
Charlie: Dung.

Charlie: Wake up.
Bart: I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
Charlie: I'm your new brother.
Bart: Are you from the orphanage or do I really not undersand how babies are born?

Jimbo: No matter how dead their relationship seems, all parents eventually commit the heinous acting of love.
Kearney: Mine do it once a year on the magical day when the prison and the insane asylum have their annual mixer.

Bart: Hope you saved room for passion fruit suflee cremon glaze for two.. and one for mom.
Homer: There come's a time in every marriage when it comes down to this, do we eat dessert or make love?

Homer: Girls are easy. Girls love daddy. Girls make birthday cards with glitter on them. Girls can marry a hockey player and get me free tickets to hockey games. Girls don't steal my lines. And girls never ask me how their body works because I have no idea.
Bart: You never told me how my body works.
Homer: Point and shoot.

Bart: Dad, I want a baby brother.
Homer: Haha. Son, I love you kids, but I'm only going to the hospital one more time in my life, and I ain't coming out.

Bart: Oh my god, I want a brother.
Lisa: You can have mine, but he's kind of an idiot.

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