The Simpsons

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The Simpsons "Once Upon a Time in Springfield" Quotes

Rabbi: Friends, loved ones, we are gathered here to marry a Jew and a ... congregationalist... is that even a thing? Now, let's continue with this mockery.
• Rating: Unrated

Homer: That is the most amazing doughnut I've ever tasted
Mr. Burns: Well, if you stay on with the Springfield nuclear plant, you could have one of these tasty beauties every day.
Lenny [about doughnut]: One of these every day might kill us.
Carl: Can we get a health plan to go with them?
Mr. Burns: Sure, you could have a health care or.... two donuts a day.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Krusty: I work like I drink: alone, or with a monkey watching.
• Rating: Unrated

Bart: Why are great things always ruined by women: the army, Fantastic Four, think how awesome would American Idol be if it was just Simon and Randy?
Homer: You say that now, but when you're grown up, you'll just think it.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Poor Krusty. He's become the lowest form of life, a sidekick.
Milhouse: You said it, Bart. Way to sum up the situation.
Bart: Take it easy, buddy.
Milhouse: That's exactly how I'll take it.
• Rating: Unrated

Lenny: Are these business cards or passports to a better future?
Gator McCall: Those are business cards.
• Rating: Unrated

Gator McCall: You nuclear workers have no idea how valuable you are. Time's never been better for your industry now that all the protesters that marched in front of nuclear power plants are dying off from radiation poisoning.
• Rating: Unrated

Homer: They took away our doughnuts at work! All I've had are my meals.
• Rating: Unrated

Burns: Until Roosevelt's new deal starts working, this country's still in a depression. I'm spending a fortune on atoms. We have to cut costs.
• Rating: Unrated