The Simpsons Season 19 Episode 16: "Papa Don't Leech" Quotes
(to Lurleen) If you ever come near Homer again, I'll strangle you with your own hair extensions. That's right, I know.Marge
(Marge tracks down Lurleen's father.)
Marge: Hello. Are you Royce Lumpkin?
Royce: That's right.
Marge: The father of Lurleen Lumpkin?
Royce: Lurleen? (sighs) I ain't seen my little girl in 30 years. She must be what, uh, 12, 13 by now?
Marge: She's 34, and she's having a rough time!
Royce: Oh, man. I better whiskey up these corn flakes. (pours whiskey in his cereal)
Marge: She needs to see you right away!
Royce: Aw, man. I better heroin up this orange juice. (shoots contents of a syringe into his glass)
Here's a song that's rising faster than a rocket with a rocket up its butt!Radio DJ
Homer: Just sit still in my lap.
Bart: What lap?
Lisa: All I see is a gut with knees.
Homer: Why, you little!
Lurleen? My goodness! You're the spitting image of your mother's hotter sister!Royce Lumpkin
(about Lurleen) She turned down Lenny and Carl? That's like somebody who doesn't like hamburgers or hotdogs! What could make her hate men like that?Marge
Dad was Colonel Homer and he wore that awesome suit and Lurleen wanted to bunk his brains out! But I forget how Mom felt about it.Bart
(Marge grinds her teeth angrily)
Homer: Dad, are you sure you're okay to drive at night?
Grampa: It's night?
Homer: That's it, pull over!