Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

If you're out of my sight, you must constantly twitter me what you're up to, even though I don't know what twitter is and I have no desire to find out.

Homer

Bart: Weird, I just made an entire lose its lunch.
Nelson: And?
Bart: I'm not feeling the rush.
Nelson: Tell me more.
Bart: Something's missing. Am I broken?
Nelson: Jump with me. Bart, at the end of the day, if your parents aren't p.o.'d you haven't really pranked. You have to take it up a notch.
Bart: Really?
Nelson: If no one's getting mad, are you really being bad? Think about it.

I love watching you knit. It reminds me of watching pictures download on our old dial-up modem.

Homer

We can't let Bart drive us apart, he's the reason we had to get married.

Homer

I don't mind if you pee in the shower, but only if you're taking a shower.

Marge

Lisa: Congratulations. You're officially a sociopath.
Bart: At least I'm on a path.

Homer: I want to eat at Moe's express.
Marge: The last time you ate there, you spent three nights at the mall jail.
Homer: That was last week and you're still bringing it up!

Lisa: You would mess up mom and dad's marriage just to get out of doing some homework?
Bart: I would end all life this planet to get out of doing fractions.

Homer: I say this boy needs more homework. I don't have to do it with him, do I?
Principal Skinner: No.
Homer: Pile it on. I want him to be Korean by the time he's done.

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