If you're out of my sight, you must constantly twitter me what you're up to, even though I don't know what twitter is and I have no desire to find out.

Homer

• Permalink: If you're out of my sight, you must constantly twitter me what y...
• Added: March 15, 2010

Bart: Weird, I just made an entire lose its lunch.
Nelson: And?
Bart: I'm not feeling the rush.
Nelson: Tell me more.
Bart: Something's missing. Am I broken?
Nelson: Jump with me. Bart, at the end of the day, if your parents aren't p.o.'d you haven't really pranked. You have to take it up a notch.
Bart: Really?
Nelson: If no one's getting mad, are you really being bad? Think about it.

• Permalink: Weird, I just made an entire lose its lunch. And? I'm not fe...
• Added: March 15, 2010

I love watching you knit. It reminds me of watching pictures download on our old dial-up modem.

Homer

• Permalink: I love watching you knit. It reminds me of watching pictures dow...
• Added: March 15, 2010

We can't let Bart drive us apart, he's the reason we had to get married.

Homer

• Permalink: We can't let Bart drive us apart, he's the reason we had to get ...
• Added: March 15, 2010

I don't mind if you pee in the shower, but only if you're taking a shower.

Marge

• Permalink: I don't mind if you pee in the shower, but only if you're taking...
• Added: March 15, 2010

Lisa: Congratulations. You're officially a sociopath.
Bart: At least I'm on a path.

• Permalink: Congratulations. You're officially a sociopath. At least I'm o...
• Added: March 15, 2010

Homer: I want to eat at Moe's express.
Marge: The last time you ate there, you spent three nights at the mall jail.
Homer: That was last week and you're still bringing it up!

• Permalink: I want to eat at Moe's express. The last time you ate there, y...
• Added: March 15, 2010

Lisa: You would mess up mom and dad's marriage just to get out of doing some homework?
Bart: I would end all life this planet to get out of doing fractions.

• Permalink: You would mess up mom and dad's marriage just to get out of doin...
• Added: March 15, 2010

Homer: I say this boy needs more homework. I don't have to do it with him, do I?
Principal Skinner: No.
Homer: Pile it on. I want him to be Korean by the time he's done.

• Permalink: I say this boy needs more homework. I don't have to do it with ...
• Added: March 15, 2010

Marge: Then again there's only one way to get an accurate reading. Bart, pants.
Lisa: Just close your eyes and think of Milhouse.

• Permalink: Then again there's only one way to get an accurate reading. Bar...
• Added: March 15, 2010

Lisa: Now what are you up to?
Bart: Whatever happened to "hi?"
Lisa: Hi. Now what are you up to?

• Permalink: Now what are you up to? Whatever happened to hi? Hi. Now wha...
• Added: March 15, 2010

Mrs. Krabappel: Bart Simpson, you've had three months to do this project, you started 30 seconds ago.
Bart: Thank you, thank you.
Mrs. Krabappel: I'm not complimenting you. You've destroyed every ideal i've had about teaching since I saw To Sir With Love as a little girl.
Nelson: Haha, you're old.
Mrs. Krabappel: I saw it on video in the eighties.
Nelson: Outdated media, I stand by my "haha."

• Permalink: Bart Simpson, you've had three months to do this project, you st...
• Added: March 15, 2010