The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 18 Episode 15: "Rome-old and Juli-eh" Quotes
Accountant: You throw over one thousand dollars a month into local wishing wells.
Homer: Yeah, you idiot, 'cause I'm wishing for more money!
Abe: My roof, my rules!
Homer: Oh, why did I borrow that roof from him?
Lisa: Dad, don't throw rice, it makes the birds swell up!
Homer: Oh, Lisa, that's one of those rumors you get off the internet.
(Behind them, three birds explode)
Homer: Hey Selma? Want some rice?
Homer: (as Esteban) So, how long is senor Homer out of town for?
Marge: Ooh, I don't know, he might come home any minute
Homer: Then I must flee! (jumps out the window and re-enters the room as himself) Where is he? Where is he? I smell his aftershave!
Marge: I don't think we're doing this right.
Lisa: Now we can enjoy Boxingham Palace in peace.
Bart: Want to melt it with a hose?
Lisa: Sure I guess, a couple of birds pooped on it over here.
Selma: For some reason she doesn't trust him, maybe it's the bang up job he did raising you.
Homer: He was a great Dad! Every year he got so mad when Santa didn't bring me presents!
(To Selma in their honeymoon suite) Now to do something I've been looking forward to my whole wedding day. (Abe takes off his shoes.) Oh, I'm glad I waited.
Grampa
Lisa: Nelson, you came to help us in our time of need.
(Nelson jumps off the fort.)
Nelson: HA! HA!
Selma: Now, we are on our honeymoon
Grampa: I thought we were at the circus, Lisa.
Selma: Whoa boy.
(about nursing home) This place is way too expensive. I saw you doing a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle!
Homer
Dad, do you know what you were kissing? Do you? Do you?
Homer
Patty: Hello, Homer.
Homer: (screams) Selma!
(Patty takes pin out of hair)
Patty: It's me, Patty.
Homer: (screams) Patty!
