Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

(about nursing home) This place is way too expensive. I saw you doing a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle!

Homer

Dad, do you know what you were kissing? Do you? Do you?

Homer

Patty: Hello, Homer.
Homer: (screams) Selma!
(Patty takes pin out of hair)
Patty: It's me, Patty.
Homer: (screams) Patty!

Bart: Lower the draw bridge!
Lisa: What's the password?
Bart: (slowly) I love my sister.

Selma: Wanna split a basket of garlic bread?
Grampa: Slow down you hussie!

Build a fart, I love it! (Laughs hard)

Bart

Homer: Okay everyone ahead is my big surprise!
(Bart, Lisa, and Marge fall down the stairs.)
Homer: Watch out for the stairs.

(Homer and Marge catch Selma kissing Grampa)
Homer: (screams) A bear is eating my father!
Selma: I'm Selma!
Homer: (screams) A talking bear is eating my father!

Marge: Grampa's driving me crazy!
Homer: Why are you telling me? He's YOUR father-in-law.

Displaying quotes 10 - 18 of 22 in total