The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Homer: Mmmm... 64 slices of American cheese.
(sits down at the table with the stack of slices)
Homer: 64... (eats it) 63... (eats it)
(The next morning)
Homer: Two... (eats it very slowly) one... (eats it)
(Marge walks in)
Marge: Have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: (slurred) I think I'm blind...

I'm sure he'll offer a fair reward...and then we'll make him double it! Well, why can't I be greedy once in a while?

Marge

(Homer daydreams about having his own recording studio)
Homer: Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed buuuuuunnn... (drools)
Guy: Homer, you're drooling on the mike again.
(When we return to reality, Homer is still drooling)

Huuuuh! How long have we had these fish. Wait...the bear. Burns' bear!

Homer

Here's something that should cheer you up, sir. (Smithers is wearing a bear suit) It's me sir, Bobo, hug me, squeeze me, tug at my fur!

Smithers

Bart: Hey Apu, this bag of ice has a head in it!
Apu: Oooh, a head bag! Those are chock-full of... heady goodness!

Smithers: You want your bear Bobo, don't you?
Mr. Burns: Liar! I'll give you the thrashing of a lifetime...nggg...nyeeh. Resistance is futile!

Homer: Are you ready to laugh? I said, are you ready to laugh!?
Lady: Quiet you awful man.
Homer: You know, Mr. Burns is so cheap.
Mr. Burns: Whaaat?
Homer: I mean...Mr. Burns is so old--
Mr. Burns: How dare you!

Smithers: Sir, I've arranged for the people of Australia to join hands tonight and spell out your name with candles. There's a satellite hookup on that monitor if you turn your head slightly.
Mr. Burns: Bah, no time.

Homer: Hey, Flanders! You smell like manure!
Ned Flanders: Uh oh...better cancel that dinner party tonight! Thanks for the nose news neighbor.

Smithers: Who's...Bobo, sir?
Mr. Burns: Bobo? Duh..uh, I meant Lobo...Sherrif Lobo, they should have never canceled that show.

(Young Mr. Burns is taken away forever.)
Mr. Burns' Father: Oh well...at least we still have his little brother George.
George Burns: Buh buh buh buh, oh the sun shines so bright on my old Kentucky home buh buh buh bum--Trust me, it'll be funny when I'm an old man.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 30 in total

The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes

Smithers: I have some sad news to report. A small puppy, not unlike Lassie, was just run over in the parking lot.
(Audience gasps)
Smithers: And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!
Homer: Are you ready to laugh?
Man: That poor dog.

Mr. Burns: Ah, yes. Naturally, I can't pay you much of a reward because I'm strapped for cash.
(The ceiling above gives way; money and jewels pour down on him.)
Mr. Burns: As you can see, this old place is falling apart. But I'm sure we can come to an understanding.