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The-simpsons

Patty: I can't believe Aunt Gladys is really gone.
Selma: Her legend will live forever.
Homer's Brain: Yeah. The legend of the dog-faced woman.
Homer: Legend of the dog-faced woman! Oh, that's good!

(Thinking to himself while looking at the casket) Oh, I thought this thing was going to be catered. Boy, am I hungry. I mean, I'm really, really, hungry. (Out loud) It's just not fair, dammit!

Homer

Surly: Hey, Surly only looks out for one guy...Surly!
Selma: Oh, sorry Surly.
Surly: Shut up.

Bart & Homer: On top of Spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball...
Marge: If you don't mind, we're on our way to a funeral!
Homer: Ding-dong the witch is dead..
Bart: Which old witch?
Homer: The wicked witch!
Marge: Homer!

Puppets: Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you, I'll have a Duff, you have one too! Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you, I'll have a Duff, you have one too!
Bart: I want to get off.
Selma: No, you can't get off. We have five more continents to visit.

Hans Moleman: Combed, biscuits, chicken, yellow, mailman.
Waitress: You're reading the wine list sir.
Hans Moleman: Very good.

Selma: So, wearing a belt, are you?
Kid: Uh-huh.
Selma: No suspenders for you.
Kid: I guess not.
Selma: Orange is really your color.
Kid: They make us wear this.
Selma: Shall we continue this conversation over dinner?
Kid: Uh...I'm not allowed to date customers. It's store policy.
Arnold: No, it isn't.

Worker: We found this one swimming naked in the pool.
Lisa: I am the lizard queen!

He was a good man, he was a kind man. He gave to his community and asked little in return. He never-(a man whispers something in his ear) That's a woman? Dear lord!

Priest

Gladys: Now let's get down to business. (Voice changes to Lionel Hutz) To my executor, Lionel Hutz, I leave $50,000.
Marge: MR. HUTZ!
Hutz: You'd be surprised how often that works, you really would!

(at Aunt Gladys' funeral, Lisa goes up to the casket)
Lisa: Goodbye Great Aunt Gladys. I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better
Bart: (in a raspy voice from behind the casket) Don't worry about it
(Lisa runs away screaming; Bart laughs)

Come to Duff Gardens, where roaming gangs aren't a big problem anymore!

Troy McClure
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 14 in total

The Simpsons Season 4 Episode 13 Quotes

Homer: Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.
Marge: Are you going to eat it?
Homer: (short silence) ...Yes.

(at Aunt Gladys' funeral, Lisa goes up to the casket)
Lisa: Goodbye Great Aunt Gladys. I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better
Bart: (in a raspy voice from behind the casket) Don't worry about it
(Lisa runs away screaming; Bart laughs)

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