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The-simpsons

Homer: (On phone with Bart) Now make sure we have plenty of cold cuts, and put some beer on ice--
Michael: Um, Homer, I'm a vegetarian, and I don't drink.
Homer: Are you sure you're here voluntarily?


Lisa, it's your birthday.
God bless you this day.
You gave me the gift of a little sister, and I'm proud of you today.
Lisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Lisa.
Lisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Lisa.
I wish you love and good will.
I wish you peace and joy.
I wish you better than your heart desires.
And your first kiss from a boy.
Lisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Lisa.
Lisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Lisa.

's song to Lisa

Bart: Milhouse can you keep a secret?
Milhouse: No.
Bart: Oh well who cares, Michael Jackson is coming to my house!!

Things change when you hit the big 1-O. Your legs start to go, candy doesn't taste as good anymore.

Bart

(about Homer being in a mental institution) Oh my God, Mother was right!

Marge

Guy with Mustache: Then one Monday morning, I got up. I got up, I couldn't leave the house. I just couldn't.
Homer: Was the door locked?
Guy with Mustache: No, I just couldn't face what was out there.
Homer: Was it raining?

Bart: (Answering phone) Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em!
Homer: Boy! When I get home, I'm going to wrap my hands around your neck--
(The mental doctors suddenly gasp and look at Homer.)
Homer: --and smother you with kisses.
Bart: Dad, whatever they got you on, cut the dose!

Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different!

Homer

Marge: Bart, I asked you to watch your sister.
Bart: I tried to stop her, but she overpowered me!

Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.

Bart

The training wheels, come off your bike, you start to notice boys you like, a-hee hee hee.

Michael Jackson (Leon)

Bart: Lisa, her teeth are big and green, Lisa, she smells like gasoline, Lisa, da-da-da disa, she is my sister, her birthday, I missed-ah!
Michael Jackson (Leon): Uh, no.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 23 in total

The Simpsons Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes


Lisa, it's your birthday.
God bless you this day.
You gave me the gift of a little sister, and I'm proud of you today.
Lisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Lisa.
Lisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Lisa.
I wish you love and good will.
I wish you peace and joy.
I wish you better than your heart desires.
And your first kiss from a boy.
Lisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Lisa.
Lisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Lisa.

's song to Lisa

(Mr. Burns and Smithers review the security camera footage at the power plant.)
Mr. Burns: Wait a minute. Go back.
(Tape rewinds)
Mr. Burns: Zoom in.
(Screen zooms in to Homer.)
Mr. Burns: Why is that man in pink?
Smithers: That's Homer Simpson, sir. He's one of your boobs from Sector 7-G.
Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? Well, judging by his outlandish attire, he's some sort of free-thinking anarchist.
Smithers: I'll call security, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent.

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