The Simpsons

The Simpsons "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song" Quotes (Page 2)

Groundskeeper Willy: There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Superintendent Chalmers: Oh, I have had it; I have had it with this school, Skinner! The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children.
Principal Skinner: Oh, now I really think the children's appearance--
Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour! You are in very, very big trouble.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Superintendent Chalmers: You're fired!
Principal Skinner: I'm sorry, did... did you just call me a liar?
Superintendent Chalmers: No, I said you were fired.
Principal Skinner: Oh. That's much worse.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Skinner: Now I... I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it Billy and the Cloneasaurus.
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. First, you think of an idea that has already been done. Then, you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through-- (passage of time) --it was on the bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had-- (passage of time) --most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?!! (pause) I mean, thank you, come again.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Principal Skinner: Er, one question remains: how do I get out of the army?
Bart: No problemo. Just make a pass at your commanding officer.
Principal Skinner: Done and done. And I mean done!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Superintendent Chalmers: Thank the Lord? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer. A prayer in a public school! God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion!
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Nelson: The ingredients were: fresh pureed tomatoes, water, salt, and sodium benzoate used to retard spoilage. Once again, if I'm not mistaken, this can contained tomato paste.
Edna: Thank you, Nelson. I look forward to seeing it again next week.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Boys and girls, Mrs. Krabappel, I come before you today to solve a riddle that has plagued mankind for centuries: What has four legs and ticks?
Milhouse: A walking clock?
Nelson: A walking clock!
Martin: I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box!
Edna: Bart, is it a walking clock?
Bart: What?.....No, it's my dog.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Bart: My dog's name is Santa's Little Helper. One time he crawled under the house and when he came out he was covered with ants. Then he ran into a church and drank all the holy water.
The Class: Wow!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Homer: Whoa, whoa, whoa, let me get this straight. They let everybody out of school early just because you brought a dog?
Bart: Well, yeah, but--
Homer: Well, I'm off to work. (picks up the dog)
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite quote from "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!