The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Chief Wiggum: Hold it right there, Switches of Eastwick.
Lou: Switches of Eastwick?
Chief Wiggum: I don't want to censor myself. That's how creativity dies.

Bob: The greatest murder since Snape killed Dumbledore.
Bart: Oh I haven't gotten to that part yet.
Bob: It's a 4 year old book!
Bart: I'm a slow reader.
Bob: A fitting epitaph... it means last words.
Bob: Are you here to teach me or kill me?

All the good men are either gay or have no face.

Waitress

Marge, the bathroom scale is lying again!

Homer

Aw, nothing is ever boobs or ice cream.

Homer

Bart: Mom, can I go?
Marge: Is your room clean?
Bart: No.
Marge: Good, that will give me something to do while you're the game.

Marge: A lot of people sound like Sideshow Bob. Like Frasier on Cheers.
Homer: Or Frasier on Fraiser.
Marge: Or Lt. Cmdr. Tom Dodge in Down Periscope.

Agent: Sorry, someone else has bought the house
Homer: But my loan has already been sold in pieces to banks, hedge funds and municipalities across the globe!

Now that it's empty, who's gonna buy their house? What if someone moves in with two Barts? Or four teenage Barts?

Marge
Displaying all 9 quotes

The Simpsons Season 21 Episode 22 Quotes

Agent: Sorry, someone else has bought the house
Homer: But my loan has already been sold in pieces to banks, hedge funds and municipalities across the globe!

Now that it's empty, who's gonna buy their house? What if someone moves in with two Barts? Or four teenage Barts?

Marge