Chief Wiggum: Hold it right there, Switches of Eastwick.
Lou: Switches of Eastwick?
Chief Wiggum: I don't want to censor myself. That's how creativity dies.

• Permalink: Hold it right there, Switches of Eastwick. Switches of Eastwic...
• Added: May 17, 2010

Bob: The greatest murder since Snape killed Dumbledore.
Bart: Oh I haven't gotten to that part yet.
Bob: It's a 4 year old book!
Bart: I'm a slow reader.
Bob: A fitting epitaph... it means last words.
Bob: Are you here to teach me or kill me?

• Permalink: The greatest murder since Snape killed Dumbledore. Oh I haven'...
• Added: May 17, 2010

All the good men are either gay or have no face.

Waitress

• Permalink: All the good men are either gay or have no face.
• Added: May 17, 2010

Marge, the bathroom scale is lying again!

Homer

• Permalink: Marge, the bathroom scale is lying again!
• Added: May 17, 2010

Aw, nothing is ever boobs or ice cream.

Homer

• Permalink: Aw, nothing is ever boobs or ice cream.
• Added: May 17, 2010

Bart: Mom, can I go?
Marge: Is your room clean?
Bart: No.
Marge: Good, that will give me something to do while you're the game.

• Permalink: Mom, can I go? Is your room clean? No. Good, that will giv...
• Added: May 17, 2010

Marge: A lot of people sound like Sideshow Bob. Like Frasier on Cheers.
Homer: Or Frasier on Fraiser.
Marge: Or Lt. Cmdr. Tom Dodge in Down Periscope.

• Permalink: A lot of people sound like Sideshow Bob. Like Frasier on Cheers...
• Added: May 17, 2010

Agent: Sorry, someone else has bought the house
Homer: But my loan has already been sold in pieces to banks, hedge funds and municipalities across the globe!

• Permalink: Sorry, someone else has bought the house But my loan has alrea...
• Added: May 17, 2010

Now that it's empty, who's gonna buy their house? What if someone moves in with two Barts? Or four teenage Barts?

Marge

• Permalink: Now that it's empty, who's gonna buy their house? What if someo...
• Added: May 17, 2010