The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 9: "The Last Temptation of Homer" Quotes
Lenny: Aw, if they hire a woman we won't be able to spit on the floor.
Carl: And we can't take off our pants when it gets real hot.
Homer: And we won't be able to pee in the drinking fountain.
(Lenny and Carl stare at him)
Homer: Er, I mean, not--you know, if we wanted to--not that I ever did.
- Permalink: Aw, if they hire a woman we won't be able to spit on the floor. ...
Charlie: Well, sir, I won't bore you with the details of our miraculous escape, but we desperately need a real emergency exit!
Mr. Burns: Why, that's a fabulous idea! Anything else you'd like? How about real lead in the radiation shields? Urinal cakes, maybe?
- Permalink: Well, sir, I won't bore you with the details of our miraculous e...
Ned: Kids did anybody pray for giant shoes!?
Rod: I did!
Ned: Okaley Dokely!
- Permalink: Kids did anybody pray for giant shoes!? I did! Okaley Dokely...
Hotel Manager: And there's your king size bed for--(Makes various sexy noises).
Homer: Stop that, I love my wife and family. All I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort!
- Permalink: And there's your king size bed for--. Stop that, I love my wif...
Homer: (writing on his hand) Mindy, because of our uncontrollable attraction, I think we should avoid each other from now on.
Lenny: (writing on his hand) Max, what I did was because of alcohol and anger...
Guy with huge hand: (writing on his hand) I am tired of these jokes about my giant hand. The first such incidence occurred in 1956 when...
Mindy: Hi Homer!
Homer: Mindy! Uh...Ahem...
Homer's Brain: Oh no, I'm sweating like Roger Ebert...
Homer: Mu...Murphy... You, you are an elf... uncontrollably... I think!
- Permalink: Mindy, because of our uncontrollable attraction, I think we shou...
TV Announcer: Just do it!
TV Announcer: Examine your scalp for ringworm!
- Permalink: Just do it! AAAAAHHH! Examine your scalp for ringworm!
That raccoon stole my lamb chop!Grampa
- Permalink: That raccoon stole my lamb chop!
(Homer climbs into a cramped elevator with Mindy, but does not notice her.)
Homer: I've made it the whole day without seeing her again! (Notices Mindy) Aah! I mean--Haalow!
Mindy: Eh...I guess we'll be going down together--I mean getting off t--I mean...
Homer: That's okay. I'll just push the button for the stimulator--I mean elevator!
- Permalink: I've made it the whole day without seeing her again! Aah! I mea...
Homer: Moe, I need your advice... See I've got this friend named Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo.
Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard.
Guy: (Runs out of the bar, crying)
Barney: Aye! Joey Joe Joe!
- Permalink: Moe, I need your advice... See I've got this friend named Joey J...