Lovejoy: Come on Homer what are her faults?
Homer: Well sometimes she can be annoying!
Marge: Oh Homer.
Lovejoy: Now Marge, don't interrupt, you'll get your turn.
Homer: I'm done.
Lovejoy: Okay, Marge.
Marge: Well its not that I don't love the guy, I'm always sticking up for him, it's just that he's so self-centered. He forgets birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. He chews with his mouth open, he gambles, he hangs out at a seedy bar with bums and low lifes.
Homer: Oh it's true!
Lovejoy: Homer don't interrupt.
Marge: He blows his nose on the towels and then puts them back in the middle!
Homer: I only did that a couple of times!

• Permalink: Come on Homer what are her faults? Well sometimes she can be a...
• Added: February 15, 2010

Reverend Lovejoy: Ned, Maude, what brings you here?
Ned: Well... sometimes God bless her, she underlines passages in my bible because she can't find hers!
Homer: Oh, lucky you don't keep guns in the house.
Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, why are you here?
Homer: Oh, because I got drunk and looked down her dress!

• Permalink: Ned, Maude, what brings you here? Well... sometimes God bless ...
• Added: February 15, 2010

Marge: Well I was thinking... do you think you could babysit the kids this weekend, I wouldn't ask, but we're desperate.
Grampa: Oh suuuure! Last resort. Old Grandpa the feeb. The guy who can't be counted on for nothing knowhow dag-nammit. Everyone's against me! (Pause) I'll do it!

• Permalink: Well I was thinking... do you think you could babysit the kids t...
• Added: February 15, 2010

Homer: Bart! Do that thing you do that's so cute!
Bart What?
Homer: That thing you know how to do!
Bart: What!?
Homer: Go to bed!

• Permalink: Bart! Do that thing you do that's so cute! Bart What? That th...
• Added: February 15, 2010

Go easy on the al-key-hole.

Marge

• Permalink: Go easy on the al-key-hole.
• Added: February 15, 2010

Homer: Mmmm... hors dourves.
Marge: Homer! You promised!
Homer: I promised I wouldn't eat? Never! You lie!

• Permalink: Mmmm... hors dourves. Homer! You promised! I promised I woul...
• Added: February 15, 2010

Marge: Oh, they're here. How does everything look?
Homer: Yeah, how do I look?
Marge: Do we have enough glasses?
Homer: Do we have enough gag ice cubes?
Marge: Homer, Homer, put a record on.
Homer: What are all our friends' names again?

• Permalink: Oh, they're here. How does everything look? Yeah, how do I loo...
• Added: February 15, 2010

I like to think that I'm a patient, tolerant, woman and that there was no line you could ever cross that would make me stop loving you. But last night you didn't just cross that line, you threw up on it!

Marge

• Permalink: I like to think that I'm a patient, tolerant, woman and that the...
• Added: February 15, 2010

(Bart and Lisa's breakfast with Grampa)
Grampa: (Pours Lisa a cup of coffee) Sugar?
Lisa: (Nervous) Yes, ten please.
Bart: (Rattlin') Hey Grampa, top me off!
Grampa: Are you sure your Ma let you kids drink coffee?
Bart: FOR THE LAST TIME, YES!!!!

• Permalink: Are you sure your Ma let you kids drink coffee?
• Added: February 15, 2010