The Simpsons

The Simpsons "The Way We Was" Quotes (Page 2)

Grampa: Oh, son, don't overreach. Go for the dented car, the dead-end job, the less attractive girl. I blame myself. I should have had this talk a long time ago.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Guidance Counselor: Do you have any plans for after graduation?
Young Homer: Me? I'm gonna drink a lot of beer and stay out all night!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: You tutor? And anyone can be tooted?
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: (Pinching her cheeks) Couldn't we just use rouge for this?
Mrs. Bouvier: Ladies pinch. Whores use rouge.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: When I got home I realized who I should have gone to the prom with.
Homer: Who? (Realizing) Oh.
Marge: My prom date.
Homer: Marge, pour vous.
Marge: Why so glum?
Homer: I've got a problem. As soon as you stop this car, I'm gonna hug you, and kiss you, and then I'll never be able to let you go! (Fade back to the present) And I never have...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Grampa: What's the matter, boy?
Homer: Nothing.
Grampa: You haven't said boo all night and usually I have to wrestle the bucket out of your greasy mitts.
Homer: Dad, I'm in love.
Grandpa: Uh-oh. Why don't you grab yourself a beer, boy.
Homer: But, Dad, I don't drink.
Grandpa: Cut the crap! (Imitating Homer) I just collect the cans, Daddy! (Normal) Now, grab yourself a beer and get me one, too.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: (to the kids) Do you two have to sit so close to the TV? Back up or it'll hurt your eyes.
Bart: Oh, it will not.
Homer: (Holding his fist up) Oh, yes, it will.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: Hi, Estelle, will you go to the prom with me?
Estelle: I wouldn't go to the prom with you if you were Elliot Gould.
Barney: Oh shot down again.
 • Rating: Unrated

Waiter: (to Homer) Steak or chicken?
Homer: One of each, please.
Barney: (running naked) Coming through!
Homer: Barney!!!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Principal Dondalinger catches Homer and Barney smoking in the bathroom.)
Dondalinger: Well, well, well. If it isn't Homer Simpson and Barney Gumble, Springfield's answer to "Cheech and Chong." Allow me, gentlemen. (Grabs their cigarettes and tosses them in the toilet.) You just bought yourselves three days of detention. You know where and when.
Homer and Barney: (In unison.) Three o'clock, old building, room 106.
 • Rating: Unrated

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