Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

(Bart, Milhouse, and Martin discuss their ownership of the comic)
Martin: How about this, guys? Bart can have it Mondays and Thursdays, Milhouse will get it Tuesdays and Fridays, and yours truly will take it Wednesdays and Saturdays.
Bart: Perfect!
Milhouse: Wait a minute! What about Sundays?
Bart: (suspiciously) Yeah, what about Sundays?
Martin: Well, Sunday possession will be determined by a random number generator. I will take the digits 1 through 3, Milhouse will have 4 through 6, and Bart will have 7 through 9.
Bart: Perfect!
Milhouse: Wait a minute! What about 0?
Bart: (suspiciously) Yeah, what about 0?
Milhouse: Yeah!
Martin: Well, in the unlikely event of a 0, possession will be determined by rock scissors paper competition, best 3 out of 5, how's that?
(Bart and Milhouse agree.)

(after he sniffed the comic book) It smells like my Grandpa.

Milhouse

Bart: We worked so hard and now it's all gone. We ended up with nothing because the three of us can't share.
Milhouse: What's your point?
Bart: Nothing, just kinda ticks me off.

Marge: So maybe a part-time job is the answer.
Bart: Aw, Mom, I couldn't ask you to do that. You're already taking care of Maggie, and Lisa is such a handful--
Lisa: She means you should get a job, stupid.

A hundred bucks?! For a comic book! Who drew it, Micha-ma-langelo?

Homer

Marge: Homer, it's really coming down! Could you check on the boys?
(Homer sees Bart and Milhouse fighting in the treehouse as lightning flashes nearby)
Homer: They're fine.

Homer: Hey, when I was your age, 50 cents was a lot of money.
Bart: Really?
Homer: Naah!

Mrs. Glick: Here, have some ribbon candy. Boys love candy!
Bart: No thanks!
Mrs. Glick: Boys love candy!
Bart: Ueeeh. I think I'd just rather get to work m'am.

(To earn money for his comic book, Marge suggests that Bart get a job.)
Bart: Me!?
Wonder Years Voice: Get a job? Were they serious? I didn't realize it at the time, but a little bit of my childhood had slipped away...forever.
Homer: Bart! What are you staring at?
Bart: Uh...nothing.
Wonder Years Voice: He didn't say it and neither did I, but at that moment, my dad and I were closer than we ever--
Homer: Bart! Stop that!
Bart: Sorry!

Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 14 in total