The Simpsons

The Simpsons "Treehouse of Horror XVII" Quotes (Page 2)

Golem: I feel so guilty! I've mangled and maimed 37 people and I told a telemarketer I was busy when I wasn't! I'm not a good man.
Lisa: He sure is neurotic for a monster.
 • Rating: Unrated

Grandpa: I never thought it would come to this when I fought in the first World War.
Lenny: First World War? Why do you keep calling it that?
Grandpa: Oh, you'll see!
 • Rating: Unrated

Radio: We interrupt this dance music from Lamourian Roman Capital City's Fabulous Hotel Hitler to bring you a special bulletin.
Homer: Hey, I'm not done dancing! This bulletin better swing!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Radio: Astronomers say the ominous capsules originated from Earth's closest neighbor.
Homer: Flanders?
Radio: Mars!
 • Rating: Unrated

Orson Welles: The devastation is incredible! They're grinding up the bodies of human beings!
Sound technician: (Uses a wisp to grind up cornflakes.)
Orson Welles: Now they're riding horses in the rain!
Sound technician: (Clacks coconut halves against a wooden board while pouring water into a tray.)
Orson Welles: Now they're playing the xylophone while bowling near an airport.
Sound technician: (Holds up sign reading "Screw you" and leaves.)
 • Rating: Unrated

Mayor Quimby: We have nothing to fear but the aliens and their vastly superior killing technology!
 • Rating: Unrated

(In "Married to the Blob," Homer happens upon an Oktoberfest festival while roaming through the streets of Springfield on an eating rampage.)
Homer: (Gasps) Ooh. Beer-battered Germans.
(The crowd screams and scatters as Homer eats a couple Germans.)
German Man: What did we Germans ever do to deserve this?
(A second German man looks disapprovingly back at the other German.)
German Man: (Realizing) Oh, right.
(The two Germans dissolve inside of Homer's stomach.)
Homer: (Zombie-like) Must eat more fat people. Thank God I'm in America.
 • Rating: Unrated

Female Golem: There's a latke bar downstairs.
Chief Wiggum: Latke? What the hell's a latke?
Female Golem: They're pan-fried--
Chief Wiggum: Case dismissed!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Sir Mix-a-Lot: (To the tune of "Baby Got Back.")
I like big guts and I cannot lie
Double chins with the chafing thighs
When a dude walks in with the hanging jowls
My stomach starts to growl--I'm gettin' hungry
So I masticate, chomping on the overweight
I eat fat people for days
Like potato chips by Lay's
Try to eat just one, but it can't be done
I've got to eat a ton
Baby likes fat
Baby likes fat
 • Rating: Unrated

(Bart writes a command on a piece of paper and sticks it in the golem's mouth, who walks up to a wall and puts his foot through it.)
Bart: Can't you read my handwriting? I didn't say "Kick Homer's walls"
(Homer walks up and the golem kicks him between the legs.)
 • Rating: Unrated

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