The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Quotes
Bart: Willie, I know you witnessed the most awesome prank since creation.
Willie: I'll nay speak to you of those dark times, Bart Simpson.
Bart: But if there was a more awesome dude than I, I need to know who he was, what he did and how many days detention he got.
Bart Simpson, that is a rebuilt Yugoslavian engine and there's not even a Yugoslavia anymore. Bring it back at once.
Skinner
My wife and my worst friend. Could it be?
Homer [about Marge and Ned having an affair]
Marge: The most intimate evening we spent this week was when I was ironing your shirts
Homer: Actually, those were Carl's shirts
I'm not thinking straight, why did I have that wine cooler last month?
Ned
Rod: We thought you were gonna die.
Tod: And then Uncle Kevin would have to raise us.
Rod: And his funny friend, David.
Ned Flanders: Oh I'd put rocks in your pocket and walk you out to sea for before I'd let that happen.
Marge: You two are going out? I thought I told you the Flanderers were coming over for dinner.
Lisa: I'm having a tea party at Jamie's.
Bart: And I'm having a stink bomb party at the house next to Jamie's... no connection.
Bart: Stop dragging me! When i get older I'm gonna drag you around and buy you clothes.
Marge: Oh, that's wonderful!
Lenny: I'm gonna miss ted, he was a good supervisor
Carl: Definitely hands off. He didn't mind if we punched out late
Homer: And he didn't mind that we made a few changes to the soda machine...mmm... beer
Homer: Marge, can you still love a man that's half beer?
Marge: I always have
Kang: This is the best musical I've sene in lightyears
Kodos: Light years measure distance, not time!
What kind of civilized people eat the body and blood of their savior?
Marge
[camera pans to Reverend Lovejoy...]
