What the? This isn't Halloween.

Homer

Thank you magical creatures of the mall! You have all taught me a Christmas message I'll never forget. The place to get drunk is at home.

Homer

You're all right stupid Flanders, you're all right.

Homer

Homer: Yeah, but doesn't the money go to schools?
Apu: You have been to our schools, what do you think?

Homer: Well good luck assembling all those toys without me!
Patty: We already did it!
Homer: Ah! The ghost of Marge future!

Lisa: Mom, where's dad?
Marge: I don't know.
Bart: Aw it's Christmas Eve man, we do not want to set a precedent for fat guys being late tonight!

Homer: What I feel is envy.
Lisa: Wow! He's right.

Bart: What's a game show?
Homer: Something you make sketches about.

I want his fame and fortune so much. Why must the lords of rock be so cruel?

Homer

Oh, what kind of erotic asphyxia?

Homer

Yep, it's all about the music and it would take a pretty unforeseen circumstance to make that change. Pretty unforeseen.

Homer

This is embarrassing to admit, but I haven't even thought about gels.

Homer

The Simpsons Quotes

Horst: (Sinister) Okay, Mr. Burns, you win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Mr. Burns: (Sarcastic) Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! (Hiding behind Smithers) Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
Horst: Stop it!
Man: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
Man: Please stop the "pretending you are scared" game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: (Pause) No! They're so big and strong!
Man: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Man: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans--
Horst: Burns, Stop it!

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!