Bart: Don't want to be seen with you when you're hitting bottom.
Lisa: At least we hope it's bottom.

Skinner: So from now on our cafeteria will only serve delicious Stuffwich's heroes, hoagies, and torpedoes.
Nelson: What about po' boys?
Skinner: Sorry, Nelson. Poor boys, such as yourself, will go hungry.

The only thing that keeps me from living here is that fish that swims up your pee stream. That is a deal breaker.

Homer

Skinner! I have seven other principals, and I've never yelled their names. Not even once.

Superintendent

Why are you concussing yourself? Why are you concussing yourself?

Dolph

Emojis! Now she's gone to far.

Homer

Kettle-corn, the heroin of the farmer's market.

Homer

That's the great thing about art, everyone can have their opinion about why it sucks.

Homer

Simpson, I won't forget this. From now on, you and I are as tight as whiteys.

Nelson

Dolph: I'm going to kiss the ground.
Kearney: Loser, you're gay for the ground.
Dolph: Well, you're gay for homophobia.
Kearney: Wow, you just made me gay for tolerance.

Honey, Grandpa is the closest thing I have to a father and I love him, but three octogenocerauses?!?

Homer

My lifestyle is my retirement plan.

Homer

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa