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The-simpsons

Did you ever wonder if hippopotamuses think that rhinos are unicorns?

Milhouse

My head hairs! I'm bald!

Homer

There's sexy bald like..uh...Babar, king of the elephants. I read his books as a kid. He married his cousin Celeste. That was my takeaway.

Moe

Martin: Let me go. I have a swim lesson with a gorgeous lifeguard.
Dolph: What gender?
Martin: You're not allowed to ask.

Carl: Why don't we talk about it over at Moe's?
Homer: It's not even noon.
Carl: Yeah, I got a watch, egghead.

Well, I'm not one for taking new jobs on a whim. But as we say in the snow plow business, I'm your astronaut.

Homer

Why won't someone blame the children?

Helen

Bring out your beds. Bring out your beds.

Moe

Homer: Boy, why are your friends so dirty?
Bart: Dunno. Why are your friends such drunks?
Homer: Touche.

Hehehe, the brain is so stupid.

Homer

Homer: Listen, we swore we'd never go to sleep angry at each other.
Marge: I'm not going to sleep.
Homer: Well you didn't have two beers with your lunch.

Marge, I thought this was an innocuous lunch, but it's become terribly ocuous.

Homer
Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 3391 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

Sea Captain
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