The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons

Homer: I'm sorry, Homer Junior. You'll occupy an idealized place in my heart that no one can ever quite fill.
Bart: Therapy, please.
Lisa: Me too.

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Marge: I'm a Schwarzenegger wife!
Homer: But you're also the housekeeper. so it's all good.

Eduardo: Did you hair burn off in a fire that trapped you in a candy factory?
Homer: I wish.

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Marge: I feel kind of melancholy.
Homer: Hmm...melon-collie.

That sounds salty, but you seem sweet. I'm going to call you kettle corn.

Ned

Willie: You want me to carve it into a thank-o-lantern?
Lisa: No, this is good.
Willie: Well, this knave's got to carve something.

Marge, they knew what they were getting into when their parents sold them to the circus.

Homer

Don't pester the rich. I don't hand out candy, you son of a grinch.

Burns

Now hop on my cycle, there's nothing to fear. And we shall have candy...and maybe some beer.

Homer

When I look at people I don't see colors; I just see crackpot religions.

Wiggum

He's like a husband in a widow's memory, perfect.

Marge

Lisa: Bart, why is the dad I've always wished for creeping me out?
Bart: I don't know, cause you're incapable of experiencing joy?
Lisa: Point taken.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 3413 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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