Bart: I want a license.
Mayor Quimby: To kill?
Bart: No, to drive!

Lisa: Show's over, let's go.
Homer: What's your hurry?
Lisa: Well, some of my report, um, wasn't thoroughly fact checked.
Homer: (Laughs) My little girl's just like CBS News.

Darcy: Wow, you really are 10. I thought you were just stupid.
Bart: I'm 10 and stupid!

Marge: Bart, you're too young to get married! You still ask me to check the closet for the boogeyman!
Bart: Well, maybe I've found somebody else to do it for me!

(Smithers is on fire, while Mr. Burns is washing his car.)
Smithers: Sir, help me!
Mr. Burns: Why should I? You're not helping me.
Smithers: But sir, I'm flaming!
(Mr. Burns looks at the camera with an odd expression)

Thank you, masked vigilante. Your over-zealous homicide has saved me 80 cents. Now if you're not going to buy anything, please move along.

Apu

(to Milhouse) Ha ha, you forgot me because I had the mumps!

Nelson

Outta my way, you seatbelt wearing cowards.

Rich Texan

Oh little mouse, you are only thing keeping me sane. (Eats mouse.)

Homer

(While crawling through a tunnel) I wonder how long this tunnel isssssssssssss! (Falls in water, into a cage that locks up). D'oh!

Homer

Bart: Ay Carumba!
(outside the story)
Bart: That's the only line I get in your stupid story?
Lisa: There's no such thing as small parts, just small actors. (Laughs)

(Angrily at the Rich Texan) Reeevenge!!!

Homer

The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes

(On the way to school, Otto stops the bus and offers Metallica a ride; their tour bus has broken down.)
Otto: So what are you waiting for? Hop in.
James Hetfield: (Chuckles) Hop in what?
(The school bus peels away with Bart at the wheel.)
Bart: Look at me, I'm Otto! I'm a hundred years old and I drive a school bus!
Otto: Oh, man. Maybe me and Metallica can go splitsies on a cab.
(Hans Moleman slowly drives by in a pickup truck, with Metallica and their gear in the bed of the truck.)
Kirk Hammett: Hey, loser, we got a ride from a real fan!
Hans Moleman: I used to sleep with Lars' grandmother.
Robert Trujillo: Never listen to our music again!
(Hans Moleman pulls away as Metallica plays an instrumental from the song, "Master of Puppets.")

Wow, your paintings have brush marks. (Gasps) And your statues have weiners!

</i> Homer