The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

(Homer picks up the bomb which has 7 seconds left till it blows)
Homer: Oh a thermos! And it has 7 cups of coffee left.
(The bomb changes to 6)
Homer: No wait, 6.
Lisa: Dad! That's a bomb!
Homer: Ah! You take it!

Previously on 24 I mean The Simpsons.

Jack Bauer

If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they would have a tummy full of pocket garbage.

Marge

Teens? In Willie's hidey-hole? I'll mop up your blood from the inside!

Groundskeeper Willie

Son of a beachball, they escaped.

Bart

Skinner: Okay, you have a deal, you conniving little (whispers in Bart's ear)
Bart: Wow, that's a swear!?
Skinner: Used as a noun, it is.

(About his new python) He is so awesome I already love him more than Lisa!

Bart

Lisa: What if Santa's Little Helper stops being a police dog, then he can get a non-violent job like barking songs on novelty Christmas records. You can do it, boy!
(Santa's Little Helper's barks 'The Dreidel Song')
Lisa: No, boy, that's Hannukah!

I miss Santa's Little Helper. I wanted him to be a police dog, but now he has no time for me. I even have to eat my own homework.

Bart

D'oh! Why do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?

Homer

(to Santa's Little Helper) Nobody stays when you say freeze, you might as well say run.

Lou

Judge Snyder: You stand accused of giving hope to scrawny young men. How do you plead?
Snake: Guilty of being innocent!
(Crowd laughs, Santa's Little Helper growls)

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 374 in total

The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes

Bart: Finally someone who does whatever I say!
Milhouse: Hey, Bart. I shaved my head like you told me.
Bart: Get lost!
Milhouse: Yes, master!

Did someone say snack?

Homer