The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Farewell, Sideshow Bob
Your shoes are empty and the stage is dark.
Bart stole your nitroglycerin
And then your heart, it barked.
And it seems to me your loyal fans
Oughta buy this DVD
(Holds up a Best of Sideshow Bob DVD.)
Of all your best-loved sketches
On The Krusty Show.
It's full of extra features
And deleted scenes.
Like when you fell and split your pants
And we saw your "Frank and Beans."

Krusty

Kent Brockman: America has a tradition of turning outlaws into legends after their deaths: Billie the Kid. Bonnie and Clyde. Jesus Christ.

Sideshow Bob: Let's not tarry. As Shakespeare said, "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere best it were done quickly." Power on!(turns on the laptop and laughs maniacally) This time I've made no mistakes.
Lisa: Actually, you made one. What Shakespeare really said was, "'Twere well it were done quickly."
Sideshow Bob: Yes, I'm sure you've studied the immortal bard extensively under your "Miss Hoover." (leaves and shuts the door)
Lisa: Macbeth, act one, scene seven. Look it up.
Sideshow Bob: (re-enters) I shall! (takes the laptop) Come on, Wikipedia. Load, you unwieldy behemoth! laptop explodes Oh, dear. Sideshow Bob, "Hoist on his own petard."
Lisa: It's "hoist with his own petard."
Sideshow Bob: Oh, get a life.

(Comic Book Guy is destroying Coolsville.)
Art Spiegelman: Oh, no! The store's in trouble!
Alan Moore: League of Extraordinary Freelancers, activate!
(Art Spiegelman puts on a Maus mask.)
Art Spiegelman: Maus is in the house!

These books are meant to be read and enjoyed, not hoarded and then sold when you get divorced.

Milo

Homer: We're gonna be rich! We can finally afford to start a family!
Marge: We have a family!
Homer: A better one!

Comic Book Guy: Nice work, Doctor Boo-Who. Your tears have smudged Wolverine's iconic sideburns. Hence, you must buy this comic. And the cost of your innocent accident is... 25 dollars, please.
Milhouse: But that's the money Yaya Sophia gave me for Greek Orthodox Easter.
Comic Book Guy: (Sighs) I hate when they tell me things about themselves.

(Comic Book Guy has just noticed a new comic store that has opened up across the street.)
Comic Book Guy: Philip K Dick! It can't be! It's as if Superman moved to Gotham City!
Martin: Which he did, in World's Finest Comics #94. (Points to the comic.) See?
Comic Book Guy: That was an imaginary story, dreamt by Jimmy Olsen after he was kicked in the head by Supergirl's horse, Comet. It never really happened.
Bart: None of these things ever really happened.
Comic Book Guy: Get out of my store.

(A local Krusty Burger is closed down.)
Krusty: (Sobbing) I can't believe the Labor Board is shutting me down.
Labor Board Official: You lock your workers in at night!
Krusty: It's so they can't tell their stories!

Opal: Marge, I thank you for creating Shapes. And, uh, my boyfriend thanks you, too!
Opal's audience: Oooooh!
Marge: When is Straightman going to pop the question?
Opal: Uh... uh... You're all getting German cuckoo clocks!
(Audience cheers)

Bart: Alan Moore, you wrote my favorite issues of Radioactive Man.
Alan Moore: Oh really, so you liked that I made your favorite superhero a heroin addicted jazz critic who's not radioactive?
Bart: I don't read the words. I just like when he punches people. How do you make his costume stick so close to his muscles?
Alan Moore: Ughhh.

Milhouse: Mr. Moore, will you sign my DVD of Watchmen Babies? Which of the babies is your favorite?
Alan Moore: You see what those bloody corporations do? They take your ideas and they suck them! Suck them like leeches until they've gotten every last drop of marrow from your bones!

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 194 in total

The Simpsons Season 19 Quotes

Why do I need another penny? I have billions. Still, if I don't take it, that hoodlum over there might.

Mr. Burns

Homer: One small coffee, please. And a bunch of those placemats with the mazes on them.
Pimple-Faced Kid: They're all the same maze.
Homer: Somebody's gotta do 'em.