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The-simpsons

(Bart catches Homer at Krusty Burger instead of his "new" job.)
Homer: I couldn't bear to tell your mother, so I hang out here all day.
Bart: But, Dad, you gotta tell her. She's been buying brand-name groceries.
Homer: Brands like "Miser's Choice" and "Day-Old Delights"?
Bart: No, things rich people buy, like Campbell's soup and Pepsodent.

Why do I need another penny? I have billions. Still, if I don't take it, that hoodlum over there might.

Mr. Burns

Oh, what's the point of putting my socks on? I'd just have to take them off again a week later.

Homer

(Homer calls Colby Krause to help coach him through a situation.)
Colby Krause: All right Homer what is it you're attempting to do? Win over a difficult client?
Homer: I'm trying to land a plane with no experience!
Colby Krause: Homer, I gotta tell you I'm not very good. I went to the Harvard of the South.
Homer: Duke? That's good!
Colby Krause: Not Duke.
Homer: Vanderbilt?
Colby Krause: A little further south. Don't make me say it.

Homer: One small coffee, please. And a bunch of those placemats with the mazes on them.
Pimple-Faced Kid: They're all the same maze.
Homer: Somebody's gotta do 'em.

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