Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Mom, they're gonna kill Lou and make him into food and fringe vests for gay cowboys!

Bart

(Homer is in the slaughterhouse.)
Female PA voice: You are now entering the Killing Zone.
Homer: Hey, that sounds like Tress MacNeille!

Cletus: We always figured someday Mary would marry. That's why we called her "Mary." We name all our kids after what we thinks gonna happen to 'em. Ain't that right, Stabbed In Jail?
Stabbed In Jail: (whittling a stick) We'll see who stabs who.

(to Lou) I don't care how much of a pumped-up freak you are. I still love you. The way Barry Bonds' kids probably still love him.

Bart

Bart: (to Mary) I didn't know Cletus was your dad!
Cletus: She had a regular city birth, in a gas station.

(Bart introduces himself to Mary.)
Bart: I'm Bart. This is my calf, Lulubelle.
Mary: Uh, you know that's a boy, right?
Bart: Oh, I thought she was peein' out of her nipple.

(to Lurleen) If you ever come near Homer again, I'll strangle you with your own hair extensions. That's right, I know.

Marge

Homer: Just sit still in my lap.
Bart: What lap?
Lisa: All I see is a gut with knees.
Homer: Why, you little!

Lurleen? My goodness! You're the spitting image of your mother's hotter sister!

Royce Lumpkin
Displaying quotes 37 - 45 of 194 in total