(Martin and Lisa are excavating for arrowheads.)
Martin: Care to make it a trio, Bart? You can brush and I can blow.
Bart: Well, I agree you blow.
Martin: Then it's a plan!
Bart: A lot of people blow, but no one blows like you.
Martin: High praise indeed!
Bart: When you look up "blow" in the dictionary--
Lisa: Bart, he's not gonna get it.
Bart: Fine.

Principal Skinner: Martin Prince was known by many names. Martin Priss, Martin Princess, Fartsin Prince, Martin the Brown-Nose Reindeer...
Dolph: That was mine.

(over a walkie-talkie as Homer enters a restaurant)
Host: The pig is in the sty.
Cameraman: (sighs) You know, I used to make documentaries about coal miners, migrant workers--things that mattered.
Host: (impatiently) Yeah, yeah...we're all whores, just get in there.

Lisa: Bart, Martin could be seriously hurt or worse! We have to do something!
Bart: You're right. Let's watch TV.

(about a school assignment) The Internet wrote it, I just handed it in.

Bart

Oh boy, dinner time! The perfect break between work and drunk!

Homer

(Marge is suspicious of Homer, who is wearing a fedora hat and a trench coat.)
Marge: Homer, where are you going?
Homer: Work.
Marge: It's 4 o'clock on a Saturday.
Homer: I, uh, have to... count the atoms at the nuclear plant. Conservation of mass! It's the law!

I'd rather have a chubby hubby than a sexy exy!

Marge

Donny: Hey, Krabappel! Your name sounds like "Crabapple." Did you go sour waiting for someone to pick you?
Mrs. Krabappel: (Sighs) Pretty much.

(After the Diet Coke and Mentos explosion.)
Superintendent Chalmers: Skinner! (Pause) Skinner?
Principal Skinner: I'm alright, sir.
Superintendent Chalmers: Don't ever scare me like that again.

I never dreamed an American car designed in Germany, assembled in Mexico from parts made in Canada, could be so amazing.

Lisa

The rat symbolizes obviousness!

</i> Ralph Wiggum

The Simpsons Season 19 Quotes

Why do I need another penny? I have billions. Still, if I don't take it, that hoodlum over there might.

Mr. Burns

Homer: One small coffee, please. And a bunch of those placemats with the mazes on them.
Pimple-Faced Kid: They're all the same maze.
Homer: Somebody's gotta do 'em.