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The-simpsons

(about Lurleen) She turned down Lenny and Carl? That's like somebody who doesn't like hamburgers or hotdogs! What could make her hate men like that?

Marge

Here's a song that's rising faster than a rocket with a rocket up its butt!

Radio DJ

(Marge tracks down Lurleen's father.)
Marge: Hello. Are you Royce Lumpkin?
Royce: That's right.
Marge: The father of Lurleen Lumpkin?
Royce: Lurleen? (sighs) I ain't seen my little girl in 30 years. She must be what, uh, 12, 13 by now?
Marge: She's 34, and she's having a rough time!
Royce: Oh, man. I better whiskey up these corn flakes. (pours whiskey in his cereal)
Marge: She needs to see you right away!
Royce: Aw, man. I better heroin up this orange juice. (shoots contents of a syringe into his glass)

Dad was Colonel Homer and he wore that awesome suit and Lurleen wanted to bunk his brains out! But I forget how Mom felt about it.
(Marge grinds her teeth angrily)

Bart

Homer: Dad, are you sure you're okay to drive at night?
Grampa: It's night?
Homer: That's it, pull over!

See that? That's talent. Think you got it? You don't. 'Cause only I can teach it and I ain't taught you, so you don't. The Chazz Busby Ballet Academy is coming to Springfield. Auditions are Monday. Callbacks are Tuesday. Wednesday, you see I'm a heartless bastard. Thursday you realize you love me, damn it. Friday, we're closed.

</i> Chazz Busby

(Homer and Lisa are excited about the latest Angelica Button book.)
Lisa: The last book in the series goes on sale at midnight and we're gonna go stand in line.
Bart: Wait in line for a book?! You tell 'em Bart says hey.
Homer: Come on, boy. All the nerds are doing it.
Bart: I'm not a nerd. I'm a jock who's too cool for sports.

Homer: Son, while your mother and little mother are out, I'm gonna let you in on a deep, dark family secret.
Bart: You have a drinking problem?
Homer: I said secret.

Marge: Homie, I'm gonna be a dancer!
Homer: Go-go or boring?
Marge: Boring!
(Homer moans)

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