The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 2 Quotes (Page 12)

Season 2 Episode 8: "Bart the Daredevil"

Milhouse: Oh no, he's hurt.
Lewis: Bad!
Milhouse: Let's get out of here!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Hibbert: This little boy broke his leg, trying to fly like Superman. This little boy's brother hit him in the head with a wrench, mimicking a recent TV wrestling match. I won't even subject you to the horrors of our Three Stooges ward.
Marge: Gee, I never realized TV was such a dangerous influence.
 • Rating: Unrated

Otto: (Singing, to tune of "Foxy Lady" over Bus microphone) Do do doo, do doo do doo, do do do doo.
Bart: Hey Otto, can I use that microphone.
Otto: ..doo do do (Switches off) Sorry Bart dude, it's for emergencies only. (Switches back on) Doo doo doo.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lance Murdoch: (after trying to give a thumbs-up) Doc, I heard a snap.
Dr. Hibbert: Hmm, I'm afraid the bone is broken. Well, that's all of them.
 • Rating: Unrated

Principal Skinner: Tonight Sherbert's, heh, heh, Shubert's Unfinished Symphony.
Homer: Oh, good, unfinished. This shouldn't take long.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Lisa, Bart and his friends watch wrestling on TV)
Bart: Two titans at the height of their careers. Ahh, if you ask me, this is gonna be one hell of a match.
Lisa: Oh, Bart, I hope you're not taking this seriously. Even a five-year-old knows that this is as choreographed as any ballet.
(Cut to Homer, who is at Moe's watching the same thing and talking to Barney.)
Homer: Eh, Rasputin's got the reach. But on the other hand, the professor's got his patented coma lock. If you ask me, this is gonna be one hell of a match.
 • Rating: Unrated

(After finding out he might not be able to go to the truck rally.)
Homer: Oh cruel Fate, why do you mock me?
 • Rating: Unrated

(Bart announces his jump over Springfield Gorge.)
Lisa: (Worried) Springfield Gorge? Bart, you'll be killed.
Bart: Lisa, I don't know how to explain this, but I get the same thrill out of jumpin' over stuff that you do fromreading.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Listening to Shubert's Unfinished Symphony)
Homer: D'oh! How much longer was Sherbert planning on making this piece of junk?
 • Rating: Unrated

Announcer in Bart's dream: Ladies and gentlemen, the ten-year-old who's brave and bold! When he's not in class, he's risking his ass, the world's greatest daredevil, Bart Simpson!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lance Murdoch: Bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 7: "Bart vs. Thanksgiving"

Grampa: Let's go! If I'm not back at the home by nine they declare me legally dead and collect my insurance!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jacqueline: At the risk of losing my voice, let me just say one more thing... (Everyone listens carefully) ...I'm sorry I came.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: See Maggie, those silver-and-blue guys are the Dallas Cowboys. They're Daddy's favorite team. And he wants them to lose by less than five and a half points. Understand?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Homer: This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or else I'll take away the glue and then nobody will have any glue to glue with!
Lisa: Dad, this isn't about glue, it's about territoriality. He only wants the glue because I'm using it.
Bart: Oh yeah, prove it (she hands him the glue) Hey man, I don't want your stupid glue.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Who the hell is that?
Homer: Bullwinkle.
Bart: Who? Wait a minute, who's that?
Homer: Underdog, don't you know anything?
Bart: It wouldn't hurt them to use some cartoons made in the last fifty years.
Homer: Bart, this is the tradition. If you build a balloon for every flash in the pad cartoon character, you'll turn the parade into a farce.
(Bart balloon shows up on the television)
 • Rating: Unrated

Grampa: What's your hurry?
Homer: This place is depressing.
Grampa: Hey!I live here!
Homer: I'm sure it's a blast once you get used to it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Mom, you made it! How are you?
Jacqueline: I have laryngitis. It hurts to talk, so I'll just say one thing: You never do anything right.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: And lord, we're especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. Anyway, we'd like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and love our family's experienced. Well, not today, you saw what happened! Oh lord, be honest! Are we the most pathetic family in the universe or what?
Family: Amen.
Selma: Worst prayer yet.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lady: Hey, you gotta be eighteen to sell your blood, lets see some ID.
Bart: Here you go, doll face!
Lady: Okay, Homer, just relax.
 • Rating: Unrated

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