The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 2 Quotes
Bart: Hey everybody, If you look real close, you can kinda make him out!
Homer: Hey yeah yeah! I think I can!
Marge: I think this is sick they're staring at a dot!
Homer: She's right! She's right! Oh I miss TV, dear God! Just give me one channel.
(Picture on television goes haywire)
Bart: Hey, what gives?
Lisa: Dad! Do something!
Homer: Alright, alright. Time for Doctor TV to perform a little surgery! (Bangs on the TV and the picture gets worse.)
Bart: Looks like you lost the patient, Doc.
(Homer and Marge find out that they are pregnant)
Dr. Hibbert: Well, uh, Miss Bouvier, uh, I think we've found the reason you've been throwing up in the morning. (Reaches to shake Homer's hand.) Congratulations.
Homer: D'oh!
Marge, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody about my busy hands, not so much for myself, but I am so respected, It would damage the town to hear it.
Artie
Hello classmates. Instead of voting for some athletic hero, or a pretty boy, you have elected me, your intellectual superior as your king. Good for you!
Artie Ziff
Young Barney: Boy, you never stop eating and you don't gain a pound.
Young Homer: It's my metaba-ma-lism. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones.
You tutor? And anyone can be tooted?
Homer
Guidance Counselor: Do you have any plans for after graduation?
Young Homer: Me? I'm gonna drink a lot of beer and stay out all night!
Oh, son, don't overreach. Go for the dented car, the dead-end job, the less attractive girl. I blame myself. I should have had this talk a long time ago.
Grampa
Teacher: Simpson! Be quiet!
Homer: I haven't seen you in school before...
Teacher: Okay Simpson! You just brought yourself another day of detention!
Homer: Maybe we should get together some time
Teacher: Two days!
Marge: I'm sorry, I don't even know your name!
Homer: I'm Homer
Teacher: Three days!
Homer: Jay
Teacher: Four days!
Homer: Simpson
Teacher: Five days!
Homer: It was worth it!
Teacher: Six days... Okay Simpson, to the back of the room!
Homer: (to the kids) Do you two have to sit so close to the TV? Back up or it'll hurt your eyes.
Bart: Oh, it will not.
Homer: (Holding his fist up) Oh, yes, it will.
Grampa: What's the matter, boy?
Homer: Nothing.
Grampa: You haven't said boo all night and usually I have to wrestle the bucket out of your greasy mitts.
Homer: Dad, I'm in love.
Grandpa: Uh-oh. Why don't you grab yourself a beer, boy.
Homer: But, Dad, I don't drink.
Grandpa: Cut the crap! (Imitating Homer) I just collect the cans, Daddy! (Normal) Now, grab yourself a beer and get me one, too.
