The Simpsons Season 2 Quotes

(Scene cuts back and forth between Homer at Moe's and Bart at home, who are watching the same wrestling match on TV)
Milhouse: Hey, that's my seat.
Bart: Correction, was your seat.
(Cut to Moe's Tavern)
Barney: But I only got up to go the the can!
Homer: Hey, I don't see your name engraved on this bar stool.

One night only, at the Springfield Speedway, this Saturday! If you miss this, you'd better be dead or in jail, and if you're in jail, break out. Be there!

Announcer

Principal Skinner: Welcome to the first in a series of Saturday evening concerts.
Homer: Series? Awww.

Todd plays the violin at the school concert
Ned: (Crying) My son, my son!
Homer: Come on Flanders, he's not that bad.

Lance Murdock: Now, on the chance I don't survive, let me just say: Seat belts save lives, so buckle up!

Milhouse: Oh no, he's hurt.
Lewis: Bad!
Milhouse: Let's get out of here!

Otto: (Singing, to tune of "Foxy Lady" over Bus microphone) Do do doo, do doo do doo, do do do doo.
Bart: Hey Otto, can I use that microphone.
Otto: ..doo do do (Switches off) Sorry Bart dude, it's for emergencies only. (Switches back on) Doo doo doo.

Lance Murdoch: (after trying to give a thumbs-up) Doc, I heard a snap.
Dr. Hibbert: Hmm, I'm afraid the bone is broken. Well, that's all of them.

Principal Skinner: Tonight Sherbert's, heh, heh, Shubert's Unfinished Symphony.
Homer: Oh, good, unfinished. This shouldn't take long.

(Lisa, Bart and his friends watch wrestling on TV)
Bart: Two titans at the height of their careers. Ahh, if you ask me, this is gonna be one hell of a match.
Lisa: Oh, Bart, I hope you're not taking this seriously. Even a five-year-old knows that this is as choreographed as any ballet.
(Cut to Homer, who is at Moe's watching the same thing and talking to Barney.)
Homer: Eh, Rasputin's got the reach. But on the other hand, the professor's got his patented coma lock. If you ask me, this is gonna be one hell of a match.

Oh cruel Fate, why do you mock me?

Homer

(Bart announces his jump over Springfield Gorge.)
Lisa: (Worried) Springfield Gorge? Bart, you'll be killed.
Bart: Lisa, I don't know how to explain this, but I get the same thrill out of jumpin' over stuff that you do fromreading.

The Simpsons Season 2 Quotes

Who would have thought that pushing a boy into the girls' lavatory could be such a thrill? The screams! The humiliation! The fact that it wasn't me! I've never felt so alive.

Martin

Bart: (prays) Well, old-timer, I guess this is the end of the road. I know I haven't always been a good kid, but if I have to go to school tomorrow, I'll fail the test and be held back. I just need one more day to study, Lord. I need your help.
Lisa: (spying on Bart) Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.
Bart: A teachers' strike, a power failure, a blizzard. Anything that'll cancel school tomorrow. I know it's asking a lot, but if anyone can do it, You can. Thanking You in advance, Your pal, Bart Simpson.

The Simpsons Season 2 Photos

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