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The-simpsons

Burns: You're the fattest thing I've ever seen, and I've been on safari!
Homer: If you need me I'll be in the refrigerator! (starts crying)

Actually, I value every second we're together, from the moment I squeeze his orange juice in the morning till I tuck him in at night. He's not just my boss, he's my best friend too.

Smithers

Homer: I'm a big fat pig!
Marge: Now Homer, you do have big bones.
Homer: Marge, nobody gains 30 pounds of bone!

Dear Marge, thanks for the fab painting of yours truly! I hung it on me wall! You're quite an artist. In answer to your question, yes we do have Hamburgers and Fries in England, but we call French Fries "chips"! Love, Ringo. PS. Forgive the lateness of my reply.

Ringo Starr

Mr. Burns: Aaah! There's something on my leg, get it off, get it off!
Marge: Mr. Burns, it's just a baby!

Splashmore Commercial Song: I wanna go to Mount Splashmore, take me take me take me take me now! Now now now now now! Mount Splashmore take me there right now!
Lisa: This is a rather shameless promotion.
Bart: Hey, it worked on me.
Lisa: Me too.

Mr. Burns: Incidentally, thank you for not making fun of my genitalia. (Mr. Burns walks away)
Marge: I thought I did.

Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!!!!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No! No! No! NOOO! If I take you will you two shut up and quit bugging me!
Lisa: Yeah of course!
Bart: Well?
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: YES!
Bart/Lisa: Thanks, dad!

I hope all you kids come out this weekend and really pack this place, just to show em how grateful I am. I told them you would! Don't make me a liar!

Krusty

Donut Delivery Man: Why are all these donuts piling up?
Carl: Homer Simpson went on a diet.
Donut Delivery Man: Oh, my God! I just bought a boat!

Burns: Somebody up there likes me, Smithers!
Smithers: Somebody down here likes you too, sir!
Burns: Shut up!

Lincoln, Lincoln. I've been thinkin'. What the hell have you've been drinkin'? Is it water? Is it wine? Oh, my gosh. It's turpentine!

Bart & Lisa
Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 350 in total

The Simpsons Season 2 Quotes

(Homer tries to retrieve the angry letter that Bart accidentally put in the mail.)
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
P.O. Worker: Okay, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?
Homer: I...don't know.

Bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world.

Lance Murdoch
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