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The-simpsons

Dr. Hibbert: Mind if I have a word with your wife?
Homer: As you wish. But look upon her not with lust. And do not send her friendly emails, that's how it begins.

Marge: Homie, you're alive.
Homer: I am more than alive, woman. I am the chosen one, who shall unite all the faiths of the holy land. I am the messiah.
Marge: But you still have the passports right?
Homer: Oh yeah, gotta keep track of those. THE MESSIAH! has the passports.

Ahh, a sand horse, car of the desert.

Homer [referring to a camel]

Bart: Quit going for my groin.
Israeli Girl: No groin, no Krav Maga. Hello groin.

Bart: You don't fight like a girl, or even a Milhouse.
Israeli Girl: I don't know what is Milhouse.

Why am I running from a girl? Hey call me when you're old enough for a Bat Mitzvah and I'll send you an envelope full of nothing.

Bart

Hoomer [seeing Bart taking out paper from the Wailing Wall]: Hey boy, we're supposed to be acting religiously, what are you doing?
Bart: Reading prayers and ignoring them, just like God.

I was wondering, do you deliver falafel to the top of Mt. Zion? Great. I'd like a large falafel with pepperoni, sausage, and extra cheese. Yes I know what a falafel is.

Homer [on the phone]

Ned: Homer, do you think you could show just the slightest bit of reverence?
Homer: Ned, I'm an American tourist. I'm just here to see some sights, try some goofy new foods, and spread some sheckles my with my Carolina Panthers credit card. Go Panthers!

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