The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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Lisa: We're 1/64 black!
Bart: So that's why I'm so cool.
Lisa: And that's why my jazz is so smooth.
Homer: And that's why I earn less than my white co-workers.

Now let's take you to a place where a black man can blend in... Canada.

Marge [as Mabel]

I'll take that secret to my grave, or urn, or medical school dissecting table or wherever you're dumping me.

Grampa

Colonel Burns, why ... I haven't heard my father's name in years.

Mr. Burns

After that fateful day I could never even look at Eliza again. It didn't help that the next day he drank bad well water and went blind.

Milhouse [reading diary]

Ralph: Mr. Luther King had a dream. Dreams are where Elmo and Toy Story had a party, and I went there. Yay, my turn is over.
Principal Skinner: One of your best Ralph.

A little schmutz, a little schmear, and presto, you're part of the underclown railroad.

Krusty

To the library? Can you believe we're married to those nerds?

Homer [to Bart]

Homer: The motto of the Simpsons is: "quit while you're ahead."
Marge: I made it into a sampler.

A week ago, I had no idea of what the future would bring, which I guess is true of everyone all the time

Lisa [reading Eliza's diary]

Lisa: Our family was on the underground railroad.
Bart: We ran a subway station?
Lisa: No, the underground railroad was a bunch of people that helped slaves escape to Canada. There were no actual trains and it wasn't underground.
Bart: Then they should have called it the "above ground normal road."
Homer: Good point, Bart.
Lisa: I never thought of that before.
Marge: Very good, Bart.

Our ancestors were kicked out of Australia.

Grampa
Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 213 in total

The Simpsons Season 21 Quotes

Comic Book Guy: You are acceptable!
Homer: Great, would you like to see me naked?
Studio Exec: Oh, there's no nudity in this movie
Homer: What movie?

I played hardball with hollywood, the closest i will ever come to playing a sport in my life

Comic Book Guy