The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 22 Quotes

Season 22 Episode 22: "The Ned-Liest Catch"

Bart: Teachers should not be allowed to live near their students. We're natural enemies - like George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Ned, I have a confession to make, I may not have come here solely with the noble intention of getting drunk.
 • Rating: Unrated

Comic Book Guy: I still wear your bra.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: My doctor said don't walk.
Marge: That was a traffic signal!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Flanders: Call me Delta Airlines, because I can't handle all your extra baggage.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Comic Book Guy: My email address is edna172. It's the lowest number I could get.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: If fairytales have taught us anything, first wives are the best and second wives are terrible.
Homer: Just the opposite of real life.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ned: That's right, I'm down to my wife blesser.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Edna: Those two boys of yours weren't delivered by the stork.
Flanders: Yes they were. We deliberately chose a Doctor Stork so we could say it without lying.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Flanders: Did a volcano erupt in candy land, because I just caught me a flying red hot.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marge: You can never raise a hand to a child. Just stop cutting the crust off their sandwiches. They'll get the message.
 • Rating: Unrated

Principal Skinner: We can handle the alcoholism, melted cheese in the microwave and, selling A's for cigarettes, but not laying a hand on a child.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 22 Episode 21: "500 Keys"

Wiggum: Things on the ground are out of my jurisdiction.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chalmers: I oversee fourteen schools and I always find myself at yours discussing a Simpson kid.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gil: I'm alive and you're my naked fairy god boy!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: The last place anyone would expect to see a moon - the sky.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: When we see each other again, you'll be an old man and I'll be a baby!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: First the good news: two of your kids are not locked in the car.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Cake, will you make my stomach the happiest bag of acid in the world?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 22 Episode 20: "Homer Scissorhands"

Marge: Homey, you sure know how to please a woman.
Homer: As long as it doesn't involve losing weight or changing my pants.
 • Rating: Unrated

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