The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 22 Quotes
Tell him it's the "worst prognosis ever!" Hee hee hee.
Dr. Hibbert [about Comic Book Guy]
Your scar, like Tom Cruise's last good movie, was Born on the Fourth of July.
Comic Book Guy
This is late for Marge. I assume. I've never been home at this hour.
Homer
Go out on a Tuesday? Who am I, Charlie Sheen?
Marge
That wasn't the Wi-Fi - that was my Bell's Palsy acting up.
Moe
Bart: I'll buy the white wine.
Marge: You can't buy white wine!
Bart: Why not? Are you having red meat?
Marge: Why do you have to eat have to eat peanuts in the shower?
Homer: It gives me the fresh circus feeling in the morning.
Ah only took this refereein' gig 'cause ah was cold and they gave me this shirt.
Willie
And the only one who ever shot anyone is the baby.
Homer
In the strip club of my heart, you held da key to da champagne room. I loved you, man.
Fat Tony
I hope Heaven's outer room is painted that eggshell blue you could never achieve on Earth.
Homer
FBI Agent: You will be known as Nicky "Bluepants" Altosaxophoni.
Homer: Can I keep the name after I'm done?
Agent: No. It belongs to the government.
