Things on the ground are out of my jurisdiction.

Wiggum

I oversee fourteen schools and I always find myself at yours discussing a Simpson kid.

Chalmers

I'm alive and you're my naked fairy god boy!

Gil

The last place anyone would expect to see a moon - the sky.

Bart

When we see each other again, you'll be an old man and I'll be a baby!

Homer

Homer: First the good news: two of your kids are not locked in the car.

Cake, will you make my stomach the happiest bag of acid in the world?

Homer

Marge: Homey, you sure know how to please a woman.
Homer: As long as it doesn't involve losing weight or changing my pants.

First five customers get a discount, next five get to hear secrets from the first five.

Julio

Like Mozart and Johnny Knoxville, my genius can not be stopped.

Homer

It's one of those unsolved mysteries, like how do my clothes get cleaned and get back in my dresser?

Bart

That theremin has paid for itself time and time again.

Principal Skinner

The Simpsons Season 22 Quotes

Lisa: I'll study so hard I'll make the old me look like Bart.
Homer: That'd be one weird looking kid.

Lisa: Quiet. It's time for the noblest Nobel Prize of all.. the Peace Prize.
Homer: I would kill for that!