The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 22 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 22 Episode 17: "Love Is A Many Strangled Thing"

Carl: I can't do it. A balloon saved one of my arteries. It wouldn't seem right to shoot one of his cousins.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 22 Episode 16: "A Midsummer's Nice Dream"

Homer: Can we at least get some french fries?
Cheech: Too high in trans fats.
Homer: Awwwwww, stop speaking Spanish.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chong: Okay man, what I'm looking for in a new Cheech is someone who is like open-minded and adventurous. I haven't decided about the mustache yet, but you need your own suspenders.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Remember, on the road the only vice you can indulge in is gluttony. Save lust and rage for me and the kids.
Homer: Honey, don't worry, I'm gonna come back so horny and angry.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: I can't do reefer comedy, I'm drunk! Two different animals.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chief Wiggum: Get me a t-shirt - XXL.
Lou: I thought you said XXL was a real wake up call?
Chief Wiggum: That was for pants.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Who the hell asre Cheech and Chong?
Homer: Cheech and Chong were the Beavis and Butthead of their day!
Bart: Who are Beavis and Butthead?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 22 Episode 15: "The Scorpion's Tale"

Homer: Their can do will bail out our won't try every time.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: We're in the same boat.
Pharmaceutical Exec: My boat has me and hundreds of lawyers. Your boat is you and a lot of people with their eyes popped out.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Otto: You sell drugs, why can't you dress like that?
Drug Dealer: Cause I use them too idiot.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Are they robots?
Pharmaceutical Sales Rep: No, robots can develop human feelings. We're graduates of Arizona State.
Pharmaceutical Exec: I scoop them up by the Sorority.
Nerd: This is the nerd fraternity!
Pharmaceutical Exec: Drop them off in research.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Grampa: What can I do for you? Eat something green? Vote for someone brown?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: That's great honey, if you were a boy you'd be a scientist.
 • Rating: Unrated

Grampa: The television only has one channel.
Aide: That's a fish tank!
Grampa: You're a fish tank.
Aide: That was hurtful. I wish I was a fish tank, then I could filter out his nasty words.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Nelson: Did you find any gold?
Bart: Even better, the prospectors left naughty French postcards.
Nelson: Bart, this is fool's porn, I'll take it off your hands.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chalmers: I recall you took a sick day of which you had none.
Skinner: I was gonna lose my foot...
Chalmers: Of which you have two.
 • Rating: Unrated

Otto [upon arriving at desert]: Hey this is one of the planets in Star Wars.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 22 Episode 14: "Angry Dad: The Movie"

Marge: According to this live blog, Ben Stiller and Jack Black are doing a bit that will not end.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: I was born a rolling 80's, I'll die a rolling 80's.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Red Carpet Interviewer: And Lisa, who are you wearing?
Lisa: I believe it's from Lamps Plus.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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