The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Only you can make tree poop boring.

Bart

We had a safe full of gold and it didn't ride that low.

Louie

Aunt Selma is treating a mob boss like an ordinary tax payer!

Lisa

Aww, I was standing in this line to use the bathroom, but now my license is expired.

Homer

You're as pure as the ether that puts you to sleep.

Lisa

I can't stand to see one of my female children unhappy.

Homer

God, if you don't bring my Lisa home safe, ants will burn tonight!

Nelson

Prepare to have everything you knew about milk cans challenged!

Lisa

In 1957 I saw him turn turn the Secretary of Agriculture into the Secretary of the Interior. It was hell on their wives, but it sure brought down corn prices. Built a house out of corn. It was the worst home I ever owed? when it got really hot it smelled like Frito's.

Grampa

Great Raymondo: This is a house of magic.
Lisa: Sounds like most of it is owned by the bank.
Great Raymondo: But the rest of it is magic.

Hello boat store, I'd like to order a boat. What do you mean dial tone?

Homer

Masseuses - half doctors, half hookers that solve everything.

Homer
Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 203 in total

The Simpsons Season 22 Quotes

Lisa: Quiet. It's time for the noblest Nobel Prize of all.. the Peace Prize.
Homer: I would kill for that!

Homer: It's 4 am, you kids should have been in bed a half hour ago.
Lisa: We're watching the Nobel Prize announcement lives from Stockholm.
Homer: Ooh, the Nobies.