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First I work? Then I pay? Then I have to eat fruit? Why was I ever born?

Homer

Homer: The therapy was too effective.
Dr. Zander: Ah, yes. One of the most common complaints about therapy.

Sue me for what? My home in a hallowed out tree?

Dr. Zander

That's ridiculous. How could two people from the same family need therapy?

Homer

I can't quit drinking anymore than I can quit being a man. [takes a drink] Now it feels like a morning.

Homer

Dr. Zander: After two more weeks of sessions...
Homer: I lied about having health insurance.
Dr. Zander: You're cured.

Dr. Zander, you made me see my life through Bart's neck.

Homer

You have a good heart, Kareem. That's why you're the only Laker I can trust with this.

Dr. Zander

Strangling, it's not the only tool in my parenting toolbox, but it's my sharpest.

Homer

Marge: Just cause everyone else is doing the wave doesn't mean you have to.
Homer: No one else is doing it. I'm trying to start it.

Well, it was your idea to give him self-esteem to begin with!

Homer

I hope you kids are enjoying this [stadium] because you and your children will be paying for this long after the team leaves the city.

Homer
Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 203 in total

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The Simpsons Season 22 Quotes

Lisa: Quiet. It's time for the noblest Nobel Prize of all.. the Peace Prize.
Homer: I would kill for that!

Homer: It's 4 am, you kids should have been in bed a half hour ago.
Lisa: We're watching the Nobel Prize announcement lives from Stockholm.
Homer: Ooh, the Nobies.

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