The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 22 Quotes
First I work? Then I pay? Then I have to eat fruit? Why was I ever born?
Homer
Homer: The therapy was too effective.
Dr. Zander: Ah, yes. One of the most common complaints about therapy.
Sue me for what? My home in a hallowed out tree?
Dr. Zander
That's ridiculous. How could two people from the same family need therapy?
Homer
I can't quit drinking anymore than I can quit being a man. [takes a drink] Now it feels like a morning.
Homer
Dr. Zander: After two more weeks of sessions...
Homer: I lied about having health insurance.
Dr. Zander: You're cured.
Dr. Zander, you made me see my life through Bart's neck.
Homer
You have a good heart, Kareem. That's why you're the only Laker I can trust with this.
Dr. Zander
Strangling, it's not the only tool in my parenting toolbox, but it's my sharpest.
Homer
Marge: Just cause everyone else is doing the wave doesn't mean you have to.
Homer: No one else is doing it. I'm trying to start it.
Well, it was your idea to give him self-esteem to begin with!
Homer
I hope you kids are enjoying this [stadium] because you and your children will be paying for this long after the team leaves the city.
Homer