And all the movies are over a year old. It's like those parodies were written when the movies came out, but it took so long to animate them that we look dated and hackey.

Krusty

Jimbo: Your fists are sisters?
Dolph: Yeah, Pocahontas and Sacagawea!
Bart: Nice save.

Take us out first. Anyone can start a family. These days no one can find a job.

Mr. Burns

I'll get one those jobs where you don't need to read. Like french fry maker or general.

Bart

Homer: Can you be my dad?
Robert: If your mom was a secretary, there's a good chance I am.

Robert: There ain't enough bourbon in kentucky for you big guy.
Homer: Yeah, the governor wrote me a letter to that effect.

Robert: I have to warn you, account men have no souls.
Homer: Woohoo! No more church!

In two weeks the only tie I'll be wearing will be for auto asphyxiation.

Robert Marlow

Why can't i be funny with just my words? Bill Maher doesn't put dangerous things near his crotch. Except when he's off work.

Krusty

I wanna go back inside mommy.

Ralph

Homer: It's not illegal to sleep inside a tyrannosaurus head.
Security Guard: Sir, you're inside an allosaurus.
Homer: I demand to speak to my paleontologist.

I heisted myself to the bestseller list once again. And the most brilliant part is I don't even know how to read.

Nail Gaiman

The Simpsons Season 23 Quotes

It's so diverse. I've died and gone to a PBS kid's show.

Lisa

I guess it's not much when you look at real problems in the world like Major League umpires not using instant replay.

Homer