Kettle-corn, the heroin of the farmer's market.


That's the great thing about art, everyone can have their opinion about why it sucks.


Simpson, I won't forget this. From now on, you and I are as tight as whiteys.


Dolph: I'm going to kiss the ground.
Kearney: Loser, you're gay for the ground.
Dolph: Well, you're gay for homophobia.
Kearney: Wow, you just made me gay for tolerance.

Honey, Grandpa is the closest thing I have to a father and I love him, but three octogenocerauses?!?


My lifestyle is my retirement plan.


Bart's usually first in line for taco night, but now he's muy tarde. Is it alright to say tarde?


Homer: Pressure is how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge.
Marge: I don't have any diamonds.
Homer: Quit pressuring me!

If God needs money, why doesn't he just write another Bible. The first one sold pretty well.


Lisa: Nobody form any opinions while I'm gone.
Chief Wiggum: Well, hurry! We have no minds of our own.

Marge: Don't you think the parts that aren't evil, are a little...pretentious.
Bart: Absolutely...we're talking about Lisa, right?

Todd: We took the pledge.
Rod: We won't have sex until we're married.
Todd: To each other.

The Simpsons Season 25 Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.


I'm not sure man who eats right and doesn't drink can be good in bed.